Dog ate my sperm

I'm a guy who masturbates regularly when my girlfriend is out of the house. A few times I masturbated into kleenex and threw it in the bathroom garbage can.

The dog eats everything including her own crap, so on a few occasions she pulled the kleenex out of the garbage can, ripped it apart and licked all of my sperm off it, leaving a mess of torn up kleenex on the floor.

My girlfriend found the mess of kleenex recently and it was a bit awkward. I just played dumb, but from now on I'll have to be flushing my sperm rags down the toilet.

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  • My dog likes to swallow my c**, I just c** in her mouth and she just sits there licking her lips. Of course I can only do it when the missus is out - like today, had two so far.

  • Try coating your d*** in peanut oil and see what happens ;)

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