I'm a 38 year old woman who is very bitter when it comes to men. Two relationships were abusive for me with beatings and unwanted s**. I know I am not very attractive and for that reason think I put up with the abuse because of it. Since August of 2017 I have been taking out my rage and past indignities on a 19 year old guy who I let move into my house out of my "kindness". His name is Kyle and is without a doubt a total wimp. He works at the car wash in town and answered the add I placed to rent a room. He is a small but cute guy, very introverted and a wimp. I set rules for him right away and since I'm much bigger them him had him intimidated right away. A few weeks went by and twice he made a mess of my kitchen and once clogged the toilet. I warned him next time he would be punished telling him if he acts like a kid he will be punished like one. I remember it clearly, it was September 14th when he again left a mess in the kitchen. First I called him down to the kitchen to clean up the mess. When he was finished I don't know what came over me but I just said he deserved a spanking. His face turned red and all he said was please don't do that. Just the way he acted and spoke gave me a feeling of control over him which made me feel powerful. When I saw tears in his eyes I knew how intimidated he was and here I was controlling a man or almost a man. It was like a power rush going to my head and I stood up and ordered him to take off his shorts and underwear saying he was due for a spanking. He began sobbing but to my delight he also started taking off his shorts. He just stood there for a second in his boxers crying like a kid and I said underwear off in a dominating tone. His p**** is small and I could see how humiliated he was and made him bend over the kitchen table where I spanked him with my hand hitting him about ten times. He just kept saying he was sorry but that only made me feel more superior to him. I then sat down making him stand in front of me as I scolded him. When he tried to cover his genitals with his hands I made him move his hands away saying he didn't have anything I hadn't seen before. His face was wet with tears and beat red with embarrassment as I belittled him a felt a strange feeling of revenge against the men who treated me so badly. For some reason it aroused me being able to control this guy as much as I had just done. I couldn't believe how he cowered and let me have my way with him. As I let him go back to his room I informed him that this was not the last of it. That night was the first time I ever masturbated with the thoughts of dominating a man.
Within the next week or so the domination of Kyle became more intense everyday. I would unlock the bathroom door knowing he was in the shower or even using the toilet. I bluntly told him he had no privacy in "my house". I knew by then also he didn't shower often and sometimes could smell body odor on him. I confronted him about it and he admitted only bathing a couple times a week. With that I ordered him to the bathroom and simply told him to strip. Again tears and blushing appeared but he stood there and obeyed me as I filled the bathtub. I had a half gallon size pitcher and dumped water on his head telling him to wash. Then, I think just to humiliate him, made him stand up. I then took a wash cloth and totally washed his body forcing him to expose every inch of his body just by the ways I had him bend and move around. After he dried off I got a belt from my room and made him lay naked on his bed. As I spanked him I not only felt complete control over him but also a sense of arousal again. I began giving a bath about 3 sometimes 4 nights a week. The second week was the first time I saw him get an erection and I am positive he didn't want that to happen. I doubt his erection is more than 5" but I didn't hesitate to ridicule him knowing I intentionally tried to get him aroused several times before. Just seeing him hard aroused me also but there was no way I was ever going to have s** with him. His embarrassment was obvious and to further degrade him I sternly ordered him to m********* in front of me. I just stood amazed watching how he masturbated and cried at the same time. After a few weeks of making him m********* in front of me I expanded things to the most demoralizing thing I could think of. After he bathes now or takes a shower I enter his room with my s** toys making him lay naked on the bed. First I hand him lotion to m********* and then I force him to open his legs where I intentionally penetrate him anally with a small d**** and eventually with my vibrator. He doesn't really cry anymore but still blushes all the time. The only time now when he cries is when I spank him and occasionally make him just strip for me in the kitchen. He has never seen me naked and I'm to ashamed of my body to let him see me. I enjoy the domination of him and m********* more than I can ever remember just by the thoughts of the control I have of him. He washes himself now but I supervise many nights a week. I don't understand why he lets me control him as much as he does but it only excites me and arouses me.