F*** me man

I don’t know who I am and i honestly have no clue who I want to be. I feel like I’m a victim a lot, like I’ve been cursed somehow and the universe keeps me from being happy. I’m a good conversationalist but even though I never admit it I’m happier being alone than with people. A lot of my friendships fall apart when I’m not forced to see people everyday through work or school and I want to blame it on them or some unstoppable force but truthfully, it’s me. I’m a s***** person. All I do is take drugs and pity myself because I can’t bare to live with myself sober. The world is so f***** Up already. I mean we’re flung into a randomly composed hellhole and we just survive. There’s no reason to, it’s all pointless all we do is longer for a cosmically minuscule amount of time and than die off. It’s so cruel how f****** pointless it all is. People look for meaning but it’s not really there. I figure since there’s no point I might as well live for whatever the f*** I want and just try to be happy, but I can’t even do that. I don’t know how to enjoy s*** without smoking a joint or downing some shots because I see s*** how it really is, and once you realize the reality of s*** you can’t f****** come back. You just end up depressed and bitter no matter how badly you try to hide it. Some days I want to be distant and careless, and some days I want to be there for people, I’m just unstable like that. But I’m pretty sure that the truth is I’m neither of those things. I’m just a confused a****** who wants to be more than he is, but can’t seem to break past the mindset I’ve had for the past year. I’m not suicidal or anything I just feel f****** empty.

Jul 13, 2018

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  • You feel empty. Lmao your not the only one my friend geesh

  • First off, stop thinking like a victim. Think like a warrior. You have obstacles to overcome. You life goal is to stand on your own two feet and find yourself. Nobody is going to take care of you. Nobody is going to love you. You have to love and take care of yourself. Self care means getting a job, no matter how crappy, going to work everyday, and saving your money. It means stop wasting money on drugs. It means accepting yourself. If you are happy being by yourself, so what? Embrace it. Not happy at your job? Try working for a temp agency, where you get exposed to lots of different jobs . Everyone finds their own path in their own time. Worrying about why you haven't figured it out by now is a waste of time. People change careers about 6 times in their lifetime so that tells you everyone goes through the same process. Being a victim is easy. You don't have to take responsibility for yourself when you are a victim. But being a victim is not the path to success because you never get above it. You just stay where you are, wallowing in self pity. To be successful is harder and takes work. You need a sense of personal responsibility(to take care of yourself), a work ethic(go to work every day whether you want to or not), and motivation to do better. So get up, put down the drugs and take care of you. Life is short. Don't waste it.

  • Tunak tunak tunak tun ta da da....yeah i am high

  • I am drugits too...trust me your and my life is already over

  • You need a girl, and to force yourself to get out there when you can. Go to the concert, expand your horizons. Ask for help!

  • Like me tarajane

  • ...try rape

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