Frustrated and Sad

My only living parent can't be bothered to see me on a regular basis.
My only living grandparent only wants me to take care of them.
My aunts and uncles only talk to me if they need something.
My cousins never reach out.
My only friend offline takes me for granted and only does things with me out of boredom. Will ditch me for something better.

I feel like people only use me. They don't truly care about me as a person. No one is supportive. They all just keep taking what they want. Expecting me to give them whatever they need, whenever it's convenient for them. They can be condesending, rude, and inconsiderate of me and my time... Yet I get attitude when I say I don't want to do something, or have something else to do. I get "but what about me" thrown in my face when I say I want to move away and start my life.

The only thing that seems genuinely sad when I'm gone is my cat. She follows me everywhere. She sits with me regardless of what I'm doing. Doesn't care about what I look like that day, what I am doing.. as long as I come back and talk to her once in a while. She just wants what she can't do herself, and what I know I have to do for her as her owner.

I'm not a perfect person. I know my flaws. However, I feel as though I deserve better. I just want people in my life that actually care. People that know I'll be there for them, but won't use me all the time. People that won't ditch me last minute, expecting it to be fine with me. People that support my current and future plans. People that are just considerate and genuinely happy to see or hear from me. Those are the people I need around.

Nov 9, 2018

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