Rape different for men than for women I guess
To being raped by a women and it not affecting me as much as rape seems to affect women.
Here's the story, back when I was 16 I was seduced by a 20 year old woman who was doing a victory lap in my highschool. I had low self esteem, a very strong s** drive, and was quite emotionally immature. So, it was easy for this rather unattractive female to convince me to go to her place and hang out. After hanging out here and there for a few weeks we got it on. I had little to no experience at that point but I knew that I didn't want to have unprotected (or even protected) intercourse with her. I was fine with some dry humping and whatever, but she wasn't. She kept slipping my erection into her and I kept saying "no" and would pull out. After a while I stopped protesting and then bingo-bango, s** happened. Shortly afterward I felt kind crappy for it, but also good because I blew my load, so conflicted, but not "damaged" per se. This event is about a clear case of rape as you can get. So, why don't I feel damaged from this as I'm supposed to, as women like to say is always the result of rape. Heck, even "misconduct" is seen as a mortal sin with lasting effects on women. So, what's with the difference here?
To add a layer of complexity; two weeks later we were at it again, smoked a little weed and then I thought "what the heck" and slipped it in her while we were both naked, grinding on each other. She didn't protest or say much of anything. In fact, I thought she was enjoying herself. Next day and for the next two weeks she didn't speak to me. When she finally told me why she wasn't speaking to me she said that I had raped her. Well, I can tell you that I thought my world fell apart right there. I couldn't believe what she was saying and I immediately thought that I must have done something wrong that I was totally unaware of. For years after that I couldn't be intimate with anyone because I simply didn't understand what constituted rape and I sure as h*** didn't want to rape anyone. That s*** messed with me far more than the rape did. Still bothers me to this day 25 years later.