I let my husband have s** with me when i dont want it.
It is extremely common to lose any and all libido after childbirth for the woman. You would hate if your husband only did things he fully WANTS to do. Work, chores, household responsibilities, child care, your side of the family obligations are ALL things he would skip, i promise you. Being an adult is almost entirely forcing ourselves to do things wed rather not do in order to function or meet goals. One of your goals should be a satisfied husband. He only has one life to live and hes committed to you. Stuck, if that helps illustrate. Making him go through his one and only life without the thing men think about most is cruel and selfish. I can promise you he resents the infrequence. Many men want the good girl/woman type, good girls dont like s**, we arent animals in bed or "freaks in the sheets". In fact s** hurts us and we dont require it at all. Men know this but still like the good girl, otherwise they would have pursued a leather and lace type. I could go without s** for the rest of my life. But I do it for him almost every day and sometimes its something else a feminist would say is painful or "degrading", that is only true if you think it is. I dont fake o****** or moan with pleasure, in fact if a few days go by and hes got some frustration built up he will be a lot more rough, i dont hide my pain from him, and it hurts my lower stomach for hours after hes done. Often I will cry from the pain, but you should see the effect it has on him. One big benefit of all this is that I think it prevents him from wanting/needing to do a*** to me. He has come to appreciate my non desire by focusing on the fact that i am doing something just for him. This carries over into our daily lives and he treats me EXTREMELY well, kinda spoils me, and a big reason for that is appreciation and an attempt at repaying the gift i give him at night. You really do have no idea what youre missing out on. Your "win" and "dignity saving" only feels like a win. On my wedding day my mom told me to check my dignity at the bedroom door and that what makes a woman good in bed is what she is willing to do, and that I should let him do whatever he wants to me and he will never stray. I laughed and didnt listen to it for almost a decade but now i see that has been the single best piece of advice I have ever received. But to be fair I used to think just like the feminists, I made him wait until I wanted it and would only do things my pride would allow. The bottom line is that were not on camera, nobody has to know what you do in bed. Swallowing my pride has been the most positive thing in my 34 years. Doing it the modern feminist way for the first 8 years of marriage almost ended in divorce.