I want s**

I am a middle aged woman love my G/F, we have been together for a long time now. We are both bi, but she is an ACE so likes being in a relationship, romance, and intimacy of touching and cuddling, but no s**. Its been about 4 or 5 years since we have had s**. We had s** for the first while but nothing in a long time.
I tried telling her I miss s** but she then guilts me and says she thought I understood her. I do, I don't want to pressure her into s**, but I'd like for her to understand I like and miss s** very much.
She tells me I'm beautiful and pretty, but it's hard to feel that way when she won't even touch me.
I've been using pornhub and other ways to almost scratch the itch but it doesnt quite do it and I am now obsessing about s** and becoming a bit of a p*** addict. I've always had a healthy libido but it seems that now I'm constantly thinking about s**.
I tried explaining this to my therapist even to pretty much no success. Not sure what to do

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  • Tell her you need to fulfill your desires and want to stay with her. If she wants you to be with her on her terms you should have terms too.

  • I get that you want her to be happy that’s a pretty big effort you are putting out there.... but what about you? Don’t you get happiness? If she makes everything about her then I don’t think that’s a healthy relationship darling. So explain it to her that you have desires and in this relationship they are unfulfilled.

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