Taped my neighbor getting beaten...sort of enjoyed it

I have this neighbor we will call John, John Is my peculiar neighbor who lives directly below my apartment. He is extremely bizarre and has traits commonly associated with schizophrenia such as nonsensical ramblings, often referred to as a "word salad " by psychologists, he is quiet and unkempt- his flat is in squalor, his stove has several missing burners and his place is infested with fruit flies, the swarm has gotten so bad that it is reminiscent of the biblical plague of gnats. His toilet is also clogged, yet he continues to excrete in it, it has gotten to the point that the excrement has almost exceeded the bowl and has began to spill out onto the foul, moldy floor. Besides that, his appalling personality has become somewhat of a meme between my friends and I, his oddity and creepiness has become the subject of many jokes amongst us, whilst he does resemble a future school shooter in his personality, he is also physically smaller than most adult men, so he does not intimidate us.
Another thing about john- possibly as a result of his mental illness- he is incredibly easy to take advantage of. I have seen people steal thousands from him, simply because he was dumb enough to give them his bank card for no reason. He even allows those same people back into his house and hangs out with them despite what they have done in the past and of course, you guessed it, they rip him off again. I myself have refrained from doing the same to him, despite how tempting it is, I even tried to coach him in not letting people do that to him; to stand up for himself,, but he is far too dense to get it.

The story begins when one night when I was consuming copious amounts of cocaine with my friend whom I shall refer to as Matt, we had visited John already at that point just because we know how odd and f***** up he is and we wanted to see him act strange for our own personal entertainment. Thus far he had been somewhat, kind of normal apart from the fat that he had been trying to mooch off our blow, so we became bored and went back upstairs to my place. Jhn had knocked on my door at one point, acting as though he had wished to hang out with us even though it was clear he had
his eye on the white stuff, we sent him on his way and we started watching a movie until we heard sounds coming from John's place.

Normally John doesn't have visitors so we went to check it out because we were bored, it was these two people who had previously stolen between 3-5k from john, (e will refer to them as Dumb and Dumber)and looking for anything valuable in his house. Matt was getting rowdy and said he wanted to fight them because the coke was making him that way, they were admittedly trying to make john snap. they went from just hanging and drinking with him, to bullying him, to trying to give him life advice on not letting people take advantage of him. But it was the parts where they were trying to set him off that got me most excited, they were getting in his face, sayin they were gong to break his T.V, throwing his stuff around; anything to get him to snap. John did nothing of the sort and simply stood there in catatonic stupor, barely muttering a word. eventually I got in on the action, I got in John's face and called him a "r***** b****", I took the smoke out of his mouth and said, " you like this cigarette?" I then threw it on the ground and stomped on it, saying " too f****** bad!"
At this point, Matt was not willing to defend John because he was under the impression that he had stolen $20 from him earlier that night and Dumber had been getting psyched out by all the commotion and wanted to start causing physical harm to John. Matt had offered $5 to whoever wanted to bareknuckle box, Dumber had decided to take the initiative and threw John to the floor, causing John to cry " what the h*** man..." he proceeded to boot John in the face as he plead confusion. At this point I began videotaping the encounter, screaming for the pathetic John to defend himself, I was so awash with adrenaline and excitement at this point, I myself had wanted to do this to the pathetic r***** living below me for so long but I could not as I was already under court ordered conditions to keep the peace, plus he was so small I might even feel bad about it. after he beat him, i felt so empowered though seeing him helpless and on the ground like that. knowing you can physically brutalize someone like that and know he will not tell on you for it because he is so far mentally gone.
I had sent the video to several online group chats I was in and got negative responses.

Turns out most people thought I was sick for recoding such an incident, although they did not know of my full involvement, they often did criticize me for sitting there and taping and not intervening. i had given the usual excuse such as that i was on conditions and i cannot be in a physical altercation or that i did not want to start drama with people who knew where i lived, but in reality i know i could have stopped it. Physically dumb and dumber were both at least 20 lbs lighter than i was and my friend Matt is an MMA pro fighter, if we really wanted to save John, we could have.
Even many of my closest friends began to question me, saying they were sickened by my apathy, i pretended to be regretful and wish i could change it, in truth part of me feels this way, but at the same time, i sometimes fantasize about severely beating John fir fun. i know i wouldn't get ratted in and he would likely forget it soon enough, i also think of t being on video and me rewatching it, hearing his confused wails as i toss him around like a rag doll gives me such a feeling of power. if only that could be, i would have a h*** of a time. Instead, i think i am going to try to plead my regret and act as though i will make it up to john, without my support group of friends, i would feel very much less empowered and that is far more worth it.

Nov 13, 2019

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  • Your pathetic

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