GAY P*** KILLED HER HOLD ON ME
Some years ago I fell head over heels, feet and ass in love with a sexy goddess of a woman (well, to me she was/is). We had a great, grinding sexual, adventurous love. I was married and I gave up everything to have her. Fast forward years later and things began to turn sour. I suspected her of hiding things from me, of having secret affairs. I was devastated and the relationship went from bad to worse. Yet I could not get rid of her in my head. For all intents and purposes we broke up and that's when I got angry.
I began to hate her and all women. I wanted revenge. I wanted to do something t o her that would shock her. Most of all I wanted to get her out of my head. I began to hate all women. That's where the gay p*** comes in.
I have always been repulsed by gay p***. Yet i decided that in order to break that spell in order switched my brain off straight s** and secretly get one up on her. I binged on gay p*** and an amazing thing happened. It began to depress my libido. Gradually it began to kill my interest in s**....funny thing if never made men attractive to me ...but after getting off on gay p*** I was able to kill my urge for women. It made me more confident in dealing with women and less concerned about if they fancied me or no...I just couldn't/dont give a f***. It freed me from the powerful tyranny of needing p****..which is an incredible, incredible drive. So I think I have tamed it.
The down side is that I have become cynical about women and I could go for years without s**. But what is interesting is that I still think its f****** crazy and gross that men, in real life, could fancy each other. Gay p*** is like a fetish to me but I am still attracted to female flesh...but since I have altered my consciousness I could never, ever, ever be manipulated by a woman again. Ever.
I know what you are thinking, why didn't I get into another relationship. I tried but I was too, too angry with my ex to make my new relationships thrive. I just wanted to hurt her and all women.