Girlfriend would freely give b******* when younger

One woman I was with several years ago, told me flatly that she had lost count after 20 of the number of guys she had sucked off just during high school. So based on that, I thought it was something that she enjoyed doing. The longer we were together, something felt off in that area. Now I enjoyed going down on my woman regularly, I was meticulous in my grooming and hygiene, I'm a handsome man who hadn't had any complaints on my size. I even went so far as to change my diet, to make sure my c** didn't taste bad.
Even then, it almost felt forced. I asked her about it, and even told her that I'm not going to be upset if she doesn't do it. But I guess it bothered me more than I thought. Whether you mean to or not, you can't help but compare the situations.
Finally, it reached a head, (no pun intended), and in an argument I asked what was so undesirable about me, compared to the scores of men she had told me about.
I was not ready for what came next.
She finally told me that all of the other times it was when she had been having serious self worth issues, and that back then she thought that giving a b****** was the only sure way that a man would stay with her.

Talk about feeling like the a-hole of the century.

So, in that situation I made it clear that I did not expect it, nor was I going to love her any less should she not do it. She would do it on her own, as I never asked again after that. The last thing I wanted was that she worried that the lack of it could end things. Yet, even when she did, I have to admit that it was very hard for me to relax and allow her to.
It took time, but we got to a healthy spot.

Feb 29, 2020

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