The school "s***"

During school I had a pretty nasty rumor that kept following me around, that I was the school s***, not that it wasn't without some evidence. I was never the popular one, far from it, but people knew enough. Some time around Sophomore, right after homecoming dance I tagged along to some party. Stayed there a little too long, was just having a blast having my first drinks and the occasional attention. What few friends that did went pretty much left before too long, so as far as I knew it was just my classmates, peers, and strangers. Which would have been fine, had we not all been drinking. And that's where it all went wrong. Some cute boy from another grade was really making me feel special and after some hard flirting, we held hands as he guided me to one of the backrooms where a few others were in and out, and our flirting just escalated into a full make out session and feeling each others up. Now it wasn't my first time doing anything sexual, but I was never so exposed, and like, my mind was just fried. I just let things happened, and eventually got to the point of me topless and giving him head before I just gave up and let him have at me. But just idk, apparently after that lil show two other guys came up expecting an easy score, like I was at some party to be passed around. I didn't say no, like how could I after what I just did and I didn't have it in me to do anything about it. Like, I thought mayne it would be cool to blow them both but they wanted more than just that. After they finished up I was about done for that night, and I was way over whatever else they had planned. I guess my better half finally took over, or the guilt finally hit me harder than the booze. After that night word spread around about my little drunken hook up, and not only that but I was some easy score. You know how these things get, people start exaggerating it and guys started chiming in as if they got something. It seriously ruined me and just how mean people got as if they were so much better. The worst part was it made me a target for all the wrong guys at school thinking, and if I didn't live up to my reputation than they just s*** shamed me in the worst irony. If it wasn't for my bff, my older sister, or my sweet little bambi of a guyfriend, I would have been so much worse off in life. One stupid little night did all that. On the other hand, I had the sweetest of friends through it all

May 10, 2020

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  • When you're older, I think you will look back at the fun you had and be glad for it. The easiest way to get past this is to ignore the haters and accept that you are a beautiful person, men find you attractive and that's okay. Love yourself, you are okay.

  • Don't worry. Everything is fine. Take care.

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