Force fed a spoon of p***...

I have a partner now who visits me and ties me up and gags me or forces me to give him oral s** before taping my mouth shut. Bondage fantasies, lingerie, rape fantasies we do it.

Last week without telling me he pooped on a plate and actually forced me to eat a spoonful before I freaked out and he stopped.

I hated it and feel dirty and hate him.

Can I live it down??