Worst first s** and it was paid
It was my birthday night and I was very alone in this quarantine so I got a hooked who cost me £ 170 and I didn't even f*** her properly as she wasn't cooperating well no good kisses or chemistry and she got it very early and I came very early. I feel really bad for spending so much for a f****** s** drive. Also, I didn't even end up doing it properly because the b**** who came didn't even accompany me properly. I was expecting to get into my birthday of 2020 making it at least one of the good things in life. But it just felt like a highly paid mastrubation.
I lost my money time. I shouldn't have spent so much at all this is almost 1/4th of my usual expenses and now its just blunt guilt making me feel bad for failing in the paid s** and also fapping during the lockdown.
Its just an output of how pathetic I have become since 2020. I just need to get my s*** together and ace through things in my life achieving them. I just feel too bad for being a d*** spending for s**.