I can’t stop thinking about f****** my boyfriend’s best friend

I’ve seen a post like this before but it’s old so I’ll go for it.
I’ve been with my boyfriend almost 6 years. We’ve grown a lot from where we started and even spent time apart but we’re finally in a perfect space. I trust that he won’t cheat, I hope he feels the same way about me. I never ever, ever would touch another guy because my boyfriend is my world.
I can’t get his best friend off my mind. I’m no more physically attracted to him than I am to my boyfriend but I want to f*** him. I’ve had several s** dreams about him and often think about him during s**. I’ve started masturbating to thoughts of him. He so sweet and funny and I just imagine how gentle he would probably be. I feel like he would be passionate and I just crave him. I feel so guilty all the time. My boyfriend is seriously amazing and I want a life with him. I’m so curious about his friend and just want to know if it would be as mind blowing as I’m telling myself it would be.
I’ve started fantasizing about going through his phone to find dirt, have a blow up fight that pushes us to almost break up just so I could confide in his friend and try to f*** him, then work things out and die with that secret. It’s terrible but it consumes me.

Oct 8, 2020

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