I feel like:
ok- i love you and want you to be with me. forget her. be with me and lets see where this goes. I'm not what she was or is but you're not giving me the chance- US the chance- to learn new things for and from each other. Stop looking backward and see what's in your future- ME.
then I feel like:
I can't say forever- and I don't know where I'll be this time next year. I'd like to say with you but please not HERE in this god forsaken wasteland of a state that you insist you can't leave. And I don't know how or where you fit in my life. I just see right now. Now is good.
No wonder you cling to her. God knows she sure the h*** ain't goin' anywhere. Ever. She'll be here for the rest of her life. And so will you. But not me. I can't stay in this place. I'm only here by accident anyway. Then I wonder if god will be cruel and stick me here indefinitely. And that's what makes me want to get the h*** out of here even more. Which means- there's no you and I. So why not just enjoy each other now?
Cuz ur afraid of being alone- and if/when I leave she won't be there for you to cling to. that makes me feel like 'wah, wah,wah' put on the big boy pants and handle it. Being alone is not a bad thing. But....we could be good together too. You just haven't realized its better to be alone than miserable. You're scared. Too bad for you.