My step-dad is kind of a d*** sometimes

My Mum's partner, or step-dad just to make things easier, was a perfectly likeable individual until lockdown. He works at a hospital, so thing aren't easy for him. But lately he's just a b**** to everyone.
Whenever Mum and I discuss social issues, we're immediately shut down and told that we're wrong, or that we're attacking him. We're not.
You can't mention the lack women's rights or someone going through something similarly tough situation without him getting all upset, and reciting "not all men..." Because he knows that neither of us think it's all men, it's just enough men that it's a major social issue. When we say that we need to take down the patriarchy, he argues that the only reason he's employed is because of this, which makes zero sense.
I can't talk about my friends at school, some of whom are transgender and non-binary, without it ending in tears from all of us. He always has something rude to say, and his sentences on this topic usually start out with "you know there are trans people who are really terrible, right?" and sometimes include "you kids need to stop tearing down JK Rowling on Twitter; It's just her opinion." To which I try to answer with as much composure as possible, but I always end up shouting. No one gets to insult my friends' (and other peoples') identities like that and get away without me giving them a piece of my mind. No one.
He often imitates people from other countries or cultures, and even though he doesn't seem to mean it in a derogatory way, he can't seem to understand that it's still rude. He always uses the excuse, "I have Indian/black/Jewish/Asian/gay friends. They don't get offended like you guys!" And whenever we discuss the racial injustices of the world, he seems to think we're blaming all white people. Which again, we are not. My Mum and I are white, so naturally we wouldn't say something like that. All we are doing is acknowledging that white people, or more specifically, racists and settlers, have committed heinous crimes and put a lot of people at a disadvantage. I don't like the truth either but that's what it is. And in order to evolve into better human beings and a more functioning society, there are many things in history we (especially white people and people with lots of power and money) need to look at and correct.
And what's even more difficult is that his sister and aunt recently just died, his Dad has dementia and his son hasn't spoken a word to him in the five and a half years he's been living with us. Mum and I are tired of having arguments every time we're in the same room together, and I can tell he is too. I still love him, but damn! Does he have to be THAT guy?

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  • Just tell him well you have every right to your opinion but this is our opinion maybe he will back off

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