Loving Husband....Regretting Decisions?!
I love my husband to distraction! He's everything I wanted in man when I married him & I feel the same way today. However I'm feeling hurt and frustrated with him. Through no fault of his own he lost his job...over a year ago. He's done odd jobs and has been an awesome help around the house. I know it's been h****** him & he is withdrawing further into himself the longer he's out of work.
Lately I've been online talking to friends new & old. One of my new friends stirs something inside me I thought only my husband could touch. With this new friend I feel excitement & passion stirring. I've only ever been intimate with my husband & have no complaints about the quality of our love-making. I am not looking to cheat or get involved in an illicit affair....so why am I flirting with this new person? He's quite a bit older than me (always a turn on since I was a teenager), he's smart, wicked funny & not at all attainable. So why did I engage in a session of mutual gratification via the internet last night? It felt so good to get off with this person (even though we are thousands of miles apart). Now I feel guilty. I have no intention of being unfaithful to my husband. Confessing to him would only hurt him & damage our marriage in a way that it may not survive. I want to eat my cake & have it too...
Such a jumbled mess I've made in my heart.