Meth surrogate for women

Meth has replaced women ,** and any thoughts about relationships in my life and I feel liberated. All my life I’ve been intimidated by women and really struggled trying to get them and getting interest from them and I lose confidence just being around them and I did manage to get my fair share over the years but god chose to play a cruel joke on me and gave me the sexually inadequate trifecta. 1. A 5 inch ** (which is not small but it is very below average )and women will correctly assume It’s not very big because of my build I’m short and stocky/fat . 2. I’m a premature ejaculator. I will get hard just being in the same room as a woman and I still have regular wet dreams so having ** is a minute if I’m lucky. And I have blown during a make out/ dryhump session several times in my life. And I only get 2 loads a time because my ** is unable to get hard more than twice. 3. I can’t get an ** whenever I am woman I really like or quickies/uncomfortable and when I know how good the ** before me has been and when I can tell they are sexually disappointed. So now I’m 42 and fat and old and women are not interested in me and I know I can’t prove them wrong and rock there world so I stopped trying. But then I’m still got a libido and I want ** once in a while (**) so when I feel like ** I just shoot up .5 grams of meth and my brain )is flooded with dopamine and it feels like multiple ** in my mind which makes me strip naked and pelvic thrust the air as my ** and ** shrink almost completely leaving nothing but a foreskin for my thumb and index ** and ballskin for me to desperately gripe as I ** furiously and fantasising about women making fun of my now tiny pathetic ** and watching them have ** with guys who have huge ** and ** better than me and wanting to ** big ** . (I’m not gay and I actually have no interest in ** or attracted to men but I see a big ** and I wanna ** it immediately. ) and these thoughts create a sexmania fantasy that has become better than the reality and I will play with myself again and again until the gear runs out and that’s it . I’m satisfied sexually and women are now completely unnecessary