Looking Back and Feeling Old

I come from a crappy small town in Western Canada and I'm only 30 but my two best friends from childhood are already gone. One of them in a car crash when she was 19. I remember coming home from college to see her, in a casket, cradled by lace fringed silk lining and in her favorite blouse. (I later learned from her mom she was buried barefoot - I had no way of knowing). She looked peaceful, and her brown bangs were covering her left eye, just like it always did. I moved it and kissed her forehead. It was cold, empty. I knew she was gone.

Later, the second when she was 25, an OD. I came back again and saw her in her own casket and cried. I hadn't seen her in years. Addiction had ravaged her face. She was in a dress I'd never seen before and some of her beautiful black hair was already grey. The creases on the pillow cradling her head looked like a crown. I crossed myself and sat down.

Now I'm in the city and only go back to visit family. When I see younger people around I think back to my two old friends, dead when they were basically still kids. Some people get few chances.

12 days

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