Cooking with S****

Has anybody ever tried cooking with their own s****?

About a month ago I got adventurous and decided to fap into the frying pan, using my s**** in place of little extra butter I usually put in the pan when I'm grilling grill'd cheese.

I didn't notice much difference in flavor when I tried it, although it definitely didn't taste any worse.

Last night, however, while in the process leading up to grilling two sandwiches for lunch for myself and my sick mother, I noticed my neighbor's 13 year old daughter changing in the yard next door (our window sort of faces out into the neighbor's yard, the suburban layout of our community is somewhat strange), presumably after getting out of the pool. I got the urge to fap and decided to incorporate it into my cooking again in secret.

My mother did seem to notice a difference in flavor for the better - I nonchalantly told her I used a different butter, which in it's essence wasn't entirely a lie, I just didn't specify it was my nut butter. I'm not about to outright lie to my mother.

I consider myself a respectable man of principles, you know.

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  • Might I suggest Natural Harvest's "A Collection of S****-Based Recipes"? It's only $25 on Lulu and provides a wide array of the many different applications of s**** in the kitchen.

  • Classy. At least you tried it yourself and its not in the shampoo bottle or something lame like that. So it just added a bitter alkaline flavor?

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