Obssessions with l*** and s** since Monday
Hi my name is Herve.I'm 23 years old.I live in Mauritius Island.I'm a sexaholic.I normally use to go to SA meetings online via the internet on Paltlak which is known as the SA World REcovery group meetings.
But recently I was not feeling well and also was struggling with my s**/l*** addiction and since this monday I stopped going to my meetings and also stopped going to any 12 steps program.
And I restarted my l*** s** addiction patterns and symptoms.I restarted watching p*** on internet,masturbated when watching the p*** clips,went on various websites to download videos of my fetish p*** actress lucy thai,julia channel,priva libellule,gaya patal,and many more pornstars and p*** and l*** things.I started to do voyeurism also at my place as I used to do that from time to time when I see beautiful girls or woman pass by on the road.I pull my shorts down sometimes and m********* on them as I live upstairs in an apartment and look at them from upstairs.WhenI go out also in the car and anytime I see a beautiful lady,this attract my attention.This is my obssession.Moreover when the disease gets worse when watching more and more p*** on the computer or on watch sexy women on Tv which turns me on,I sometimes think about women I have known in my life that have attracted me sexually.I like to l*** after women,have the obssession of being lusted after also and Im also desperate to have s** and find love coz I never had s** in my life I mean physically with a woman.
So on Monday,Tuesday and yesterday,I have watched p**** on internet,watch babes on Tv,have had all kind of l*** thoughts on lot of women,I have done phone s** that is when I was ready to c** I phoned some ladies one is Karen Ithier,I phoned ata her home,and when I heard the voice of a female I dont know if it was Karen or not,but when I heard her voice,I simply masturbated compulsively and e********* on tissue paper in front of my p*** movies on the computer.I phoned Treesha M,an indian girl that I know when I worked with her.I tried to phone her at her home but didnt get her on the phone as it is his father and mother who took the phone the time I phoned.If she took the phone,i know I would have said oh Treesha,yes yes oh yes,And I would have cummed thinking of her.And moreover I must say that she doesnt know I think who is phoning her.Anyway,I hope and think so.And there is another girl named,Ingrid P.who I have known through facebook,only by seeing her pictures she turns me on.And everytime I m********* and take pleasure when watching p*** movies on internet,I phone her and say hello ingrid and I put the sound of the p**** film abit louder so that she hears and I c** on her thinking of her by phone.And yesterday moreover,I went on internet in the afternoon to download yahoo messenger so that I can go on chat rooms and meet women who want to have chat s** and phone s**.I have had a lot of invitation to view cams of babes who showed themselves naked etc.I just tried at first to know if its free.I have even signed up on a website named Adultfriendfinder to join and find h**** woman who wants to have s** in Mauritius.I also saw many pictures of woman and also men who showed their s** on their profile pictures,that was kind of funny.lol.Anyway,as I understood after that I must pay and become a member and pay for membership,I preferred to remove all links to my email from this site and also remove me from being registered on this website.
Moreover,before that I went on FAcebook to search for phone s** in Mauritius.And found one group where they were talking about s** in mauritius and gave one web link to search for people in any country who want to get laid.But it wasnt working the link when I tried it many times.Anyway,Ive changed up my mind and way of thinking and want to stop with all that and diminish my l*** and s** activities coz when I do all that I get worse inside and the day after I even vomit a bit not food but I vomit in the morning and even sometimes I get diarrhea,
Moreover,yesterday I downloaded the yahoo messenger to search for someone to have phone s** or s** by chat or voice chat s**...or view pictures.And I first went to a chat room for interracial dating but there were too much ladies who wanted to show me thier cam and sent me lot of messages and as I said before some I checked them and some I closed.but the one I checked we had to register and after registration some of them we had to pay or whatever.So I p***** off on all that.Coz I dont want to lose time for registration and I have no money also.
Anyway,so I went to another room,the single room,where I met philipines woman one who was aged 29,but who didnt talk long with me.and the second who was 25 named rosemarie,I was hard when talking to her and had l*** thoughts.Anyway coz I came for that also if the person wanted to have s** by phone etc.But that person Rosemarie the lady said that she has a little boy.I asked her if she was married.And she said she live with her boy aged nearly 3.
She gave me her phone num and I added her on my messenger list.And she gave me a link to see her pictures on friendster.
And When I saw her pictures I said t myself I dont want to do harm to that woman.I dont want to force her to have phone s** etc if she doesnt want.
Anyway I also Im a f****** obssessed man obssessed by s** and l*** and sexy women.
Anyway,I know sooner or later I will definitely have to go back to my meetings on any of 12 step meetings whether phone,chat,face to face to recover from that s**/l*** addiction and become sober and get better
So I said to myself it is better to tell them that