Funny Confessions

Starstruck Crush

Bends the mic, aims to tease, smacks the lips, strikes your need, traveling on, sexy, your one of many, aims to tease, but never to please. If your a classified a fan, better use video, pictures, and your hand. You'll probably never see this B list rockstar again. Unless on an 80's cruise with an old friend.

Wrong Person, It Wasn't Meagan Good

I think it is funny, due to a picture I posted to Instagram, you invited Meagan Good to your dinner party because you thought we "made out." Well she is innocent, and it was not her I made out with honey, it was sexy Michael Ealy, the other person in the photograph. He was my neighbor in New York City and I was in the middle of moving after... [more]

Pushing 60?

I was told by a wealthy man named James once, the builder of many famous restraunts, including the Mariposa...that "he learned after marrying multiple women across different states and countries, he not only appreciated the variety of their beauty, personailities, love making abilities and buying them each homes that he would visit from time to... [more]

Superstitious:

When people say the word 'Goddamit' out loud I cringe and take it as a sign of bad luck that our relationship will end. Stepping away from them like a bolt of lightening is about to strike them out of a clear blue sky, because they curse themselves and attract a lot of bad luck and negativity for taking Gods name in vain. I also do not walk over... [more]

Bad Girl Image. Good Heart.

I wear a leather jacket, denim with holes in the knees, am sexy tomboyish, got curves, big b****** and lips, perfect skin, funny, good looking, charming, intelligent, educated. Grew up in church, keep my values and morals close to my heart. Don’t sleep around, drug and disease free. Never been a... [more]

Not Crazy

What people interpret as crazy or eccentric is actually my very high IQ. I just don't think it is polite to tell people, hey I am a MENSA baby or make them feel dumber than me. So I let them believe whatever they want. Who cares. They dont pay my bills.

Psychics and Lawyers

A psychic told my mom ten years ago I was going to marry an attorney, and I never married. Based on my current personal injury court case, I honestly think attorneys are the lying scum of the earth and would never, ever, ever marry one even if they were the last human on the planet. I would rather marry a donkey or a shark..lol..jerks. Although I... [more]

Forgiveness

If you would have taken me as your date to the MET Gala I would have forgiven you…lol… You broke my heart whoring around, damaging our Masterpiece.

No Lazy = 1 Year No Work Anniversary

I have worked since age 15 up until Jan 5, 2021 when I was " fired from the spa due to no fault of my own," because the owner of our company reduced our hours due to the CoVid19 pandemic and people have been calling me "lazy." Not only did I get unemployment from the mean Islamic witch who stabbed me in the back and tried to steal my client... [more]

50 Cent & Unanswered Prayers

I was paying attention to 50 Cents feed (not yours xyz vain & my 20 year celebrity stalker) because he helped us with our charity event last year. Which had absolutely nothing to do with you. However, I do think you and Les have a thing, why else would she hunt me down and try to get to know me if she was not an ex lover of yours. Jealous, or... [more]

Haunted By Your Music Dayne, What The H***

I was walking around Hermann Park this evening, and whipped around the corner where the zoo was and your damn Rockin song and voice... was blaring from the speakers. Really, like what are the damn odds the universe is going to give me some random sign in the middle of the day in the only section of the park with music that I walk 2 times a week?... [more]

I wonder what she looks like now.

About a million and a half years ago or at least some days it feels like it I dated a girl, So cute, She was just so damned cute and I treated her like crap as most young guys do but we ended up moving in with her mom who had never been married at...17 or 18 whatever and I think it was mostly out of pitty because I had a poor life growing up and... [more]

Making dreams come true.

My friend and I won a trip for two a while back and while on the trip we were sitting at the pool bar, An older couple in their mid 40's were flirting and whatever, I was going to go to bed and went up to the room, By the time I got there I realized I had forgot my stuff at the pool, Went back and walked in on my friend and the woman of the couple... [more]

Nsughty

I locked my boy friend out of the bedroom naked in front of my girl friends and his d*** got hard.

Masturbated in the Louvre

Recently went to Paris, and, well... it just sorta happened. But I bet not many other people have masturbated in the Louvre.

I found this hilarious

So last night after my girlfriend and myself climbed into bed, we realized it had been about two weeks since we’d had s**. So we started doing things like normal and after she had her big O, I started to do her in missionary position. For the first (and I know for sure the last) time, she told me to... [more]

The watermelon plumbing incident

Okay here's how The story goes I must confess I have to go to a maintenance call on a clogged toilet. I first obviously tried to plunge the toilet with the plunger and I have another toilet snake tool that was not going to go for the down or just jammed so I had to pull the toilet. And this is actually apartment I live in one of the units it's... [more]

Pantyhose competition

My wife is tall with amazing tan/tone legs & firm ass. She’s a realtor maintains a professional appearance. She also works hard to stay fit & eat healthy. At 42, I think she still looks amazing!
We recently had friends our age over and I heard the women complaining about how people dress now. Pajamas in public, leggings and tunics…..
When... [more]

I slept with the hot cousin of the groom at my femcousins wedding

So all of these men were worshipping me at my cousins wedding. I was a model and I liked the attention. At my cousins wedding first, at the dinner party this really hot guy and I were fooling around. He was fingering me at the night before the wedding dinner. LOL! I was smiling pretending to be amused by what people were saying but it was... [more]

My stove was molested

I thought my floor was leaning. I thought my thrift store special pots were not level. It was none of the above. My stove top heat elements or burners were stolen they were brand new. Replaced with not general electric brand elements that did not fit properly. Cook top burners or heat elements make a meal cook properly. This thief deserves a... [more]

M********* spraying sanitizer

I spray the sanitizer on my C*** and masturbates. It gives a hot throbbing sensation.

Dom wife's sister gets even

My wife has always been dominant not only to me but her older sister. She's short,big b******,long hair and has a quick temper.
She can be a flirt and most women in our neighborhood distrust her around their husbands.
Her sister only a couple years older recently divorced has come out of the... [more]

Nurse liked my p****

When I was 15 I had a problem where every time I used the bathroom, I would leek p*** on myself after.
I went to the urologist and I had to get a test taken where I pee into a special toilet with some sensors on me. When I went, I had to get a scan of my blatter before and after. The nurce pulled... [more]

Why?

Why do girls think its funny to kick boys in the b****?

Fart

My best friend's mom and I had a late night farting contest in the kitchen last night. She ended up pooping her pants. She was embarrassed but I think seeing me laugh made her feel better and now we have a special bond over farts

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