Funny Confessions

Pantyhose competition

My wife is tall with amazing tan/tone legs & firm ass. She’s a realtor maintains a professional appearance. She also works hard to stay fit & eat healthy. At 42, I think she still looks amazing!
We recently had friends our age over and I heard the women complaining about how people dress now. Pajamas in public, leggings and tunics…..
When... [more]

I slept with the hot cousin of the groom at my femcousins wedding

So all of these men were worshipping me at my cousins wedding. I was a model and I liked the attention. At my cousins wedding first, at the dinner party this really hot guy and I were fooling around. He was fingering me at the night before the wedding dinner. LOL! I was smiling pretending to be amused by what people were saying but it was... [more]

My stove was molested

I thought my floor was leaning. I thought my thrift store special pots were not level. It was none of the above. My stove top heat elements or burners were stolen they were brand new. Replaced with not general electric brand elements that did not fit properly. Cook top burners or heat elements make a meal cook properly. This thief deserves a... [more]

M********* spraying sanitizer

I spray the sanitizer on my C*** and masturbates. It gives a hot throbbing sensation.

Dom wife's sister gets even

My wife has always been dominant not only to me but her older sister. She's short,big b******,long hair and has a quick temper.
She can be a flirt and most women in our neighborhood distrust her around their husbands.
Her sister only a couple years older recently divorced has come out of the... [more]

Nurse liked my p****

When I was 15 I had a problem where every time I used the bathroom, I would leek p*** on myself after.
I went to the urologist and I had to get a test taken where I pee into a special toilet with some sensors on me. When I went, I had to get a scan of my blatter before and after. The nurce pulled... [more]

Why?

Why do girls think its funny to kick boys in the b****?

Anne frank

It was 14 years ago, I was a n*** soldier in ww2, we were tasked with clearing out an abandoned building and... and one of the guys found something, we burst into the room and found a family of jews, illegal jews mind you. anyway, the guys go to round them up and I look in the room they missed, a... [more]

Fart

My best friend's mom and I had a late night farting contest in the kitchen last night. She ended up pooping her pants. She was embarrassed but I think seeing me laugh made her feel better and now we have a special bond over farts

Party time

We went to a place for a friends stag, We had a big suite and called in three "Dancers" They showed up, The guy organizing had ordered the three youngest girls they had and when they showed up he asked their ages.
1) 20, Thin, Cute blonde, Tiny t***, No ass.
2) 20, Thin, Cute blonde, Average [more]

Jessica

When we were younger and our daughter was about 14 in high school I developed this urge to watch her with another man and she fought this for several months before she agreed to j******* our friend Danny.

I had talked to Dan about this before so when I asked him if he would do it he readily... [more]

Jerked a load into her coffee

Sorry folks, im a f****** pervert and i decided to j******* and c** in my step moms cup of coffee. it was a thick load too. hope she enjoyed it

S*** sandwich

My male room mate is a real f****** a******! yesterday he made a few sandwiches for his lunch, stepped into the shower before he ate and i took the bread and wiped it between my ass cheeks and left a little [more]

Party, Party, Party.

A couple friends and I go to this huge outdoor concert every year in a valley near by, Buddy borrows his dads huge toy hauler camper and we set up in the party zone and it is always a blast, lots of people just randomly come by and drink and so on, One thing we always do is bring Moly, Lots of Moly and we just slip it to whoever, This past year... [more]

Cocaine

I snorted cocaine off a hookers ass hole.

I crashed CheaterLand {dot} com

Decided to help out cheaters worldwide. Cheaterland was telling on too many of my friends. If you want to thank me, drop me an email at hermanvl {at} pm {dot} me

Mrs. Thompson

I was thinking the other day about when I used to stay at my friends place when we were younger and spy on his parents doing the dirty and I mean dirty.
After he was sleeping I would sneak out of his room and go to his parents room, The first time it happened I could hear them doing it and wanted to see if I could see them so I actually crawled... [more]

I love boobies

I love boobies, my dad collects the newspapers for the topless page 3 women, I used to wankey to them whem mum and dad went to bed. Pretty good huh? -Matthew Lee Prior

My step mom parties

I moved out into my own place last year, We attended a family funeral recently and I stayed at my dad and step moms because I had a few too many drinks to drive home, My step mom was plastered and dad was pretty drunk also, I was laying in bed and heard some noise that sounded like dry heaving, I got up and went to the bathroom, My stepmom was on... [more]

Matthew Prior

I am the boobies man, I farted once and blew my parents paper shop away.

Does anyone actually respect women?

Seriously women are worthless in every way except babymakers that is their only use. They are so pathetic and I'm pretty sure females know this as well with the way they try to play victim.

My boyfriend pimped me for a zip bag.

My sorority sisters & bf Kentrick’s frat organized a police protest with BLM downtown last month. After we shared an Uber with Kent’s frat bros to buy a zip bag at T’s place for later. T’s maybe 40 and hooks us up with top shelf all the time. Kent was paying T two bills for the o zip then T looked at me and said, ‘you believe? I was confused he... [more]

Interesting Fantasy

19 year old male: I want to be baby sat by a girl. Its an age play thing. She would punish me if I misbehave (I might be mischievous on purpose) even though we would have an itinerary.
1. We play with toys
2. She makes me make and cheese,
3. gives me a bath, dries me off, and picks out my cloths
4. Tucks me into bed and reads stories to... [more]

Brilliant Marketing Strategy

I remember when I was younger a brand of roll on deodorant specifically for young women and teens. I can't remember the brand but the Ads were on TV and the Bottle was about 5 Inches Long with a Rounded Cap (and Nice Girth) with raised beading molded onto it (very vein like but stylish)
Clearly they meant it to look very Phallic and over the... [more]

Lives Matter

Dyslexic lives mattress

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