Funny Confessions

I did in fact pick her up, but not the way you think

Going to work one day I saw a disabled car with a young woman standing there. I knew that anything she tried to do was futile, these cars can't be fixed like they used to. I exited, came back around and stopped and offered her a ride to convenient place and to call a wrecker. It didn't matter what the car had, it wasn't going be fixed there... [more]

Just my luck

It's my dream of getting asked out by a hot guy like Luke Bryan but just my damn luck I get asked out by a guy that looks more like Luke Combs. I know looks aren't everything but it sure would help. I don't like Eric anyway,he's a disrespectful h**** toad wanting to hop in the bed with me. Yuck!

THE DAY I SCARED MY MOM

IT STARTED OFF A COUPLE DAYS BEFORE HALLOWEEN MY BROTHER AND I WAS SITTING IN THE HOUSE WITH OUR MOM MY FRIEND KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND WAS WEARING A ALIEN SUIT WITH THE MASK MY MOM ANSWERED THE DOOR AND SHUT IT IN HIS FACE AND TOLD US TO RUN AND HIDE AND WE WAS LAUGHING SO HARD BUT SHE MADE US HIDE UNDER THE BED WE LIKE MOM ITS ARE FRIEND SCARING... [more]

Moved to SOCAL, where the neighbors swim topless in their pool

We moved to Southern California and our neighbors invited us over for a get to know you cook out. They have a nice pool and a summer kitchen and the weather cooperated. The kids got in the pool, and by God, one of their girls took off her top and went topless. I know now she is 13.
I have two sons, 12 and 10. The game room upstairs looks... [more]

Wasted $3.60

I spent three whole dollars on a prank call to my bff’s abusive mom and she didn’t even answer. after i paid for it i saw him say she wasn’t going to answer and that i shouldn’t pay for that but the damage was done. i will never tell another soul.

Elite douches vs. elite snobs

That I enjoy seeing the works of fine art being destroyed by environmental nutcases. Fine art is merely the expression of one's own wealth, or a vehicle for wealth investment. In either case, it's only for the ultra wealthy. So, f*** them and their art.
I don't sympathize with the protesters... [more]

I spent my days in the hospital and she made the days bearable

For my honeymoon we went on a trip to Europe, Italy and France. While in Italy we went to this park up in the Alps and there were some four wheelers and my husband and I rented one to go sightseeing. He lost control, we went head over heals and the four wheeler landed on me and I broke my long bone in my left leg. A helicopter rescue, down into... [more]

Panties

I'm 57 year old man and have worn panties since I was 9 months old. Mum said I threw my nappy out of the cot and ,having 2 sisters , panties was all she had to put on me. I'm not ashamed of it and don't see any reason anyone should be. Womans panties come in so many styles and materials and look what men get boring boxers or briefs that are... [more]

Naieve Dumb Kid

I am dating a girl who has a great sense of humor and a brain. We talk about everything and have lots of laughs at her asking flirty sexual questions. The answer I gave her to her last question had her laughing so hard she almost peed her pants. Her question was, "Did you ever have a woman dominate you in bed?" I laughed like [more]

Q&A questions

I once asked my friend if you put the b**** in when you p**** f*** a girl........he told if it's big enough YES.

Friends husband propositioned me in strange fashion

Years back I stayed with a female friend. She was married but she clearly didn’t mind flirting with me in front of her husband even if we were both flirts by nature. Her husband pretended he didn’t care but he did. Of course, it wasn’t what it appeared. I’d sadly find that out later.
They went to bed and had [more]

Back when I was in junior high (I'm 55 now)

During my growing up years I was an exchange student in Chile. I will start by saying that my family is Colombian and I spoke Spanish pretty well. The family had a maid, and the man talked to her nice and patted her f****. The wife would make comments about keeping his hands to himself. It was funny... [more]

Sleeping with her showed me

I woke up in bed with a groomsman and a girl from the party. She had me spooned, her nose in my neck. I wasn't wearing panties, only a tshirt that belonged to him. I moved my hand down to pull the tshirt lower and ran my hand across her naked hips. I needed to pee so I woke her up, she let me out of bed, it was obvious when I walked that I'd had... [more]

I have one question.

How are you able to fit all of that mass inside of those jeans?

5th grade incident

When I was in 5th grade, my friends and i would hop around and hit on other peoples desks. This one time when we were doing it i took break and sat down in someones seat. then my big body s***** dookie itty bitty loser friend came up behind me and pushed me out of my seat. this [more]

Baby heat

It didn't happen overnight. It took a long time. But from the beginning he was overprotective and butted into my life. He took me with him to a lunch with a vendor. He valet parked. When we were waiting for the car after lunch, he put his arms around me from behind, holding me tight against him. I didn't do anything because I didn't want a... [more]

S** Ed in Catholic School in the 60s didn't stop girls having s**

This happened in 1969. I was 15 and going to an all girls Catholic School. The School decided to put on a s** education movie, class by class starting in the 7th grade. My father loaned his projector and screen and told my cousin to be the projectionist. He sat through five showings, surrounded by... [more]

Free the t***, it feels so good to go topless in a crowd

Last week we spent a the week at a rental on the beach. MY sister, we are 22 and 19, teased me and took my top off exposing me to the onlookers. It was embarrassing for about a minute, then I said I don't care, dropped my arms and walked with my chest held high and my shoulders back and let them look all they wanted, men and women and little... [more]

Kissing cousins

This last week my cousin and his wife and kids came to see me. He found a quiet moment and f***** me. It felt good to be held by him again and feel his d*** in me. It really felt good when he released his [more]

Got banned from answers.com

The question on answers.com was what are names of candy with dirty names? I answered, cookies and cream, milk duds,whoppers,chico sticks,candy sticks,pixie sticks,honey buns,ding dongs,ho ho's,cream soda,and I must confess that this must be the best social media group that allows you to say what you want and not get in trouble over stupid [more]

Gas attacks!!!!

At the age of 10,I visited my older sister and I let a fart and she said it smelled like her scrap bucket. One time I was doing sit ups while my sister held my feet down and when I sat up,I let a big one rip right in her face. 7 th grade, I was sitting in class and had really bad gas and accidentally let out a fart the size of Texas and the... [more]

I love stealing and wearing panties

I love wearing panties. I’ve been wearing panties since I was 21. I’m 51 now. I’ve stolen so many panties I have forgotten the number but it’s over a thousand. My wife knows I wear panties. If I could I would wear them every day but she only likes it when we have s** and maybe twice a month. I wear my... [more]

Stealing panties

I love stealing used dirty panties. I’m in construction so it’s easy for me. One time I got to work the woman was taking a shower and we had to work in bathroom. When she was done I went in there and there was her panties she just took off in dirty clothes hamper still warm and smelling great. When I came out I was wearing them and talking to the... [more]

Lap of Luxury

3 years of ago, my wife who was 37 at the time, while I was 39 at the time were at an antique store. My wife was looking at a jewelry display case, while I was in the room next door. When I came back into the room, the first thing I saw was my wife sitting in this old man's lap (he was probably in his 60s) with her back to him and he had his arms... [more]

Sexting

I love this man. We aren’t dating anymore but we still… yes. Anyways.
He tells me he’d love to see me finger both holes and I do just that for him. Side note: I’m majoring in Biological Disease, and the words “fecal-oral transmission” keep running through my mind as continue to finish and press send. 🙃
I now I can’t help but wonder who... [more]

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