Funny Confessions

I love kicking guys in their b****

I love kicking boys in their b****. i get away with it because i make the boys think they made me mad and because i am a girly girl but i really do it because i love to see boys faces when they get a good one in the b****. so funny. makes me laugh when... [more]

The boys Parents

A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and daddy doing?"
The mother replies, "Well you know hat daddy has a big tummy, and sometimes I have to get on top of it... [more]

Oh boy

I jacked off during a road trip with my mom and sister in the car. I had a blanket over me, and i had to do it secretly. It took my over half an hour to c**, but I did it, and damn did it feel good. Very kinky when your family is right there and don't even know.

Toe fun

I have a secret desire to lick girls feet and suck on their toes while i pleasure myself... just about every bare foot ... or in flip flops turns me on...especially if they have painted toes, and i get so excited seeing them....and they make me want to .... off..i even paint my toes some times..and i wear a toe ring...

Pooped my pants

I was peacefully asleep after a night of abusing drugs and women. Then I woke up at noon and decided to s*** all over my self. Once I had s*** myself I walked down the street and found a young boy. I pulled my pants down and grabbed at my loaded ass... [more]

Maid

2 years ago I was all alone and there is dis sexy maid working in my house she always bent too much to show her cleavage and I was too eager to suck them she came to my room and as always bentmuch more than needed and this gave a hard in my d*** I just grabbed hold of her from back and inserted my... [more]

What A Beautiful Rock

I swear this is true and has to be one of the funniest things to happen in someones life.
I used to take a lot of pain medications. One of the side effects of taking so many pain meds is constipation. Well, there was a time that I had not taken a s*** for 2 whole weeks, and was hurting bad to say... [more]

Racist joke

There are 3 guys walking down the beach ones a white guy ones a black guy and the others a mexican. their walking along and they find a lamp in the sand they rub the lamp and a genie pops out and says you each get one wish. the n***** says "i want all my people to go back to africa and be happy and... [more]

Tranny

I met a pretty Mexican woman on badoo. I arranged to go see her tonight. She gave me her address. I drove there and she texts me on the way and tells me she's a granny...which is cool. I get there and who I thought was her (pic was slightly different than in person) opens the door and we get busy. She texts me and calls me a liar says I never... [more]

My sisters sticky sock

Once I was home alone and my sister had these really soft fleece socks. It looked good so I jacked off in one of them and blew my load inside. My mother was coming in the house so I threw it under her bed and completely forgot about it. Quite some time later when it got cold out...she was putting on the socks at the front door before going out... [more]

My weird thoughts

I personally think it's funny when I'm thinking about f****** my crush at school and it gets me hot and I start to touch myself and pinch my b**** and s*** and they randomly walk by or tap me for... [more]

O*****!

I was in my tractor when a tiny little bug sat on my nose...I smelt the bug to see if it was happy and it went up my nose...Then my crush walked over (He is half male half female) and I started blowing my nose to get the bug out and then he put his finger in my nose and pulled it out and I orgasmed! It was so hot! I always think about us sniffing... [more]

The gay game

Before all of you homos get offended...let me just say if you made of straight people or races...I'm not easily offended..So just calm.down because this has nothing to do with you.
My bro and I play the gay game...wer call each.other words by.using gay f** or [more]

A Girl With A Camel Toe Drives Me Nuts

When i was in this mental ward 13 years ago
this teen girl came over to sit by me in this
community room that the hospital had , I was like age 30 and She was like age 16 it made me so hard
just looking at her sitting with her legs a apart
I could not believe how this girl had such big
v*****... [more]

I've been catfishing this guy for 6 months

Ok my confession is that I have this 30 year old guy thinking I'm some hot 25 year old beautiful flight stewardess. We started chatting innocently enough and after a few weeks this guy tells me he thinks he's falling in love with me. We met on a social networking site. I had a fake profile and fake photo of this hot woman I found online, I... [more]

Dog bite

One day when I was about 7 I was bit by on dog on the butt. It left me in the ER. Know I'm 23 and I was drunk at a friends house for her bridal shower. They dared me to get a tattoo. So we stumbled down to the tatto place. I was so drunk I got a tattoo of a dog on my Butt. Its biting my crack. My Friend getting married got a tatto saying " never... [more]

Bi-Curious no more

I have for many years fantasized about sucking a d***. I had never done it even as a kid, which I later learned many of my childhood friends were sucking each other's d****.
But I digress... I recently resolved to do it. A male massage therapist... [more]

The best spam you'll ever get

Ever since I got my own iPhone, I love to send naked pictures of myself to random email addresses.
I'm an attractive girl, and while I still live with my parents, I have hours to kill every night. I take extremely explicit pictures of my body, everything from p**** close-ups to full body shots... [more]

I'm a horrible monster

I've killed 20-40 people I've stabbed a bunch of bums killed a few models killed a guy and his dog and my ex Bethaney I tried to kill my assistant but I didn't I killed a woman with a chainsaw but I had too cause she almost got away I ate a little bit of there brains and tried to cook...also I killed Paul Allen with an ax to the face I guess Im a... [more]

He really tried lol

My ex-boyfriend , who now has a new lover , a guy in which I totally dislike . My ex called me tonight and was telling me about his day . He knows I love the youtuber Pewdiepie . So he proceeded to tell me how he spent literally ALL of today watching "Crazy Wheels" . I was like . " "What's that ? You mean Happy Wheels ?" He was like "Oh yeah yeah... [more]

I haven't used toilet paper in months

One day this last summer of 2011 I ran out of toilet paper and had to use a wash cloth. Since then I have used it everyday to wipe my ass. I find it cleans me way better then paper, saves me money, and helps the environment. I wash it out with soap after using it. I don't get hemorrhoids anymore from having to wipe my ass with handful after... [more]

It's funny

I started working as a stripper last year, and it's amazing how many guys between 35-55 come into the clubs looking for a wife. Even the ones who are already married are looking to trade up. And at least one girl gets proposed to every night of the week, every night, even by guys who they have never even seen before in their lives. I mean it's... [more]

I'm superiorrrrrrrrrrrr!

I confess....that I'm better than you. I'm f****** awesome. I go around and pretend I hate myself, pretend I think I'm some stupid inferior idiot, when inside I KNOW I'm better than all you dumbasses! HAHAHAHAHA! I think it's hilarious!! I act like a self-hating [more]

Bins and other s***

So me and my Mate go out at night and we are both 14 and we sneak out and do s*** so this one night we were bored as f*** and we f***** hahah Jokes! We went to this school and you guys will probably say... [more]

I brought mono to my school.

I was at my friends house and her cousin was over. her cousin and i really liked eachother. we made out like every chance we could. and that was like two weeks ago ad i have mono and so does half of the school. i knew i had mono like the day after we made out so i had a plan to cough/sneeze on all of the people i didnt like. the school emailed... [more]

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