I've tried to hang myself once. It
I've tried to hang myself once. It didn't work, obviously. No one knows. I am suicidal but I will never tell anyone. I never ask for help for anything. I act like nothing is wrong, and everyone thinks I'm a happy and intelligent girl. My mom died a year ago, and I don't see any reason to live. I keep pushing my friends away, and I quit my job months ago. I do nothing and I don't have anything to live for. I've screwed up every relationship/potential relationship I've ever had. All my siblings live far away, and my dad and I do nothing but fight. He uses me to take out his anger about my mom. I've lost interest in everything, and I don't care anymore. I sleep a lot, and rarely eat. My dad has rifles in his closet, and sometimes when he's out of the house I take them out. I load them. Then I debate about killing myself. I'd prefer to hang myself, guns are so messy.