Gaslight

When I was little, my mom physically, verbally, and emotionally abused me without my dad ever knowing. College is getting closer and I can't wait to move out because lately I keep remembering how terrified I was as a kid but she denies any of it ever happened. She did the same with my older sibling. I grew up hating my sister and now I think she was telling the truth, but I'm so conditioned to think she's wrong, that part of me still hopes that I made it all up in my head, just to not be like her. And I know that no one would ever believe my mother was abusive because she's a great actress. I love her, but I don't know how much longer I can do this. People always say that they think about how wrong they thought their parents were and then they grew up. I don't think I'll ever have that. And I'm so afraid to have kids because I don't ever want to do that to them. What if I snap too?

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  • U may hav been a brat mayb ma wasnt getting c*** look for the ans

  • Abusers have a great capacity for deluding themselves. you will find people who believe you, but many won't. That's life. Just be strong, know you are right.

    As for snapping -- the first step is to take care of yourself. There are plenty of people who had bad childhoods who don't do the same to their own children. But it takes work.

    You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. You have plenty of time to think these things through. in the meantime -- as I said -- be strong.

    --From someone who knows what you are talking about.

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