I hate Ben but I love him more than I

I hate Ben but I love him more than I hate. I am someone under his skin, but he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't know what else can I do, I feel so much no confidence; I want to leave this town. He is the only one I want to have ** with... so much... I haven't had it for one year since that night he was drunk and came over. I miss him so much these days, but I make myself to leave. I am so depressed because of his leaving. I am so jealous because he would rather to trust a ** but doesn't even give me a chance to talk.

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