i know this sounds silly, i aborted my

i know this sounds silly, i aborted my baby four years ago, went through a really horrible time, fortunately moved on by the end, but still feel sorry about that. I still contacted the baby's father till yesterday, as I have found out his gf is pregnant four weeks now and they are planning to buy a house, getting married. I am like suddenly breakdown. I left work and still could not go back to work today. I emailed him, to tell him i am pregnant and think we should not contact anymore. I lied, i just don't know how to face all of these suddenly. I went to a supermarket to buy knife, and did not even know why did I do that. I wanted to talk to someone, but don't really anyone can talk to. I am sorry I have lied, i feel it's silly, and couldn't understand I just said that. I don't even know how to delete his bro's name on my facebook, and I just know I won't contact him anymore, coz I can't face it! I am still single, 28, and think will die lonely by the end of the day. Since I have got the news, all my horrible memory has came back, I couldn't go to sleep last night, kept thinking she is pregnant, she is pregnant... and couldn't help myself to curse them, even hope she will lose her baby and suffer what I have suffered! I know this is bad, and i honestly hate myself to think like this, I just can't help and I hate myself so much becoz of this. I don't know what to do, I still can't go to work today, and end up to confess my silly thoughts online

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  • abortion is not murder. you should not feel bad whatsoever and I'm sure you'll find someone. we all do eventually.....just don't be so damn shallow.

  • abortion is not murder. you should not feel bad whatsoever and I'm sure you'll find someone. we all do eventually.....
    just don't be so damn shallow.

  • Please get rid of this selfish p**** that takes up space in your head he is the worst kind of men to do what he did to you.Please get some help,abortion cousenling if you want.I had one and regret it to this day and that happened over 24 years ago:( If i could I would give you a hug.It took me ten years to get over someone I loved but did not feel the same.I know it is easier said than done but try to move on.Let be 4yrs instead of 10!

  • I agree with the first person. It's not surprising that hearing that news brought all of the pain back. It sounds like you aborted the baby because of him, that he didn't want you to have it. I don't know if you believe in God, but if you do, ask Him for forgiveness; if you don't, there are plenty of counseling groups for just this sort of thing, find one and join. And most of all, try to forgive yourself. It's in the past, you can't keep punishing yourself for something already done. I definitely think you should talk to the guy and let him know you lied, then cut him loose and move on.

  • Please tell the guy how u feel but tell him that ur gonna try and move on.

  • Lmaof !!!
    Good, i hope they did b**** !

  • To the idiot who keeps righting Putrid, f*** off! imagine somebody killed themselves because you've brought them down at their worst times! your a looser!!!

  • You putrid b****, you killed your child!!
    Better yet you should've been aborted at birth, you heartless animal!!

  • How sad. I would suggest making peace with your aborted baby and the only way I could think to do that is to talking to a Catholic priest. and seek absolution. If you are not Catholic, they are still the best at free counseling and you might be surprised at what he tells you.

    Tell your ex bf you lied because you were sad about your past, wish him well and leave them in your past. Each new sunrise is a new day to do better.

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