I could c** steady for an hour for every woman who likes what I am thinking about her & beaten sexually for an hour by every girl who doesn't. Sick I know but that's how I feel sometimes
I guess so deep inside but did not feel good about it. Of course I'm keeping this private that's why it's anonymous right?
I'm not up to speed on all the lingo, but you dig domination. Very common. You seem to have Sub tendencies. Is the word 'cuckoled'? Its a little deviant but just fine I think. Keep it all private.
Even worse from time to time I have this really strange finish fantasy that one or two beautiful young women have me at their mercy so to speak. They tease me with erotica (partial stripping slowly, etc.) and when I get hard they force masturbation onto me sort of like-what's the matter big boy don't you like my beautiful p****. If I start to C** they stop immediately and call me a loser-than tease me again and force me to o***** after numerous denials. The whole time they are warning me not to c** or else! When I finally explode they say we told you not to c** and kick me in the groin repeatedly. I finally have gone limp and the whole process starts over again-teasing-denial-ending with me passed out from the beating and exhaustion. I know exactly how this sounds and I hate to admit this but somewhere deep in my mind all of these thoughts appear from time to time. Logic would show that I was abused or something but I never was-go figure but that's what I am confessing. As my Christianity grows I recognize it is probably the enemy more than just a crazy fantasy. Am I totally whacked? Comments?
Honest to God I had a wonderful upbringing-no abuse neglect or anything. The only thing I can relate to even remotely is Playboy and penthouse when I was younger (too young) and a lot of whacking off. But everyone I have confided in says that this is pretty much normal-go figure. I really wish somebody else out there had similar experiences to share. I know I have thought of numerous reasons but there you have it
You wish to be beaten by those who reject you, and would take more sexual enjoyment if they liked what you wanted. Both seem linked to your sexuality, which is at odds with each type of sexual fetish or situation. Did you ever have an abusive relationship where you were the abused? Like a wife-beater, but in reverse? Were you severely punished as a child, but it was linked to any sort of shaming of your gender? Like, did your Dad or Mom leave your family?
No but what does that have to do with anything anyways? Has anybody had similar thought or experiences? Do any females (over 18) have feedback on this? At the very least anyone who reads this could please pray for me to stop feeling and thinking this way-even though it is certainly not every day. I think I am just so fascinated with a woman's privates that I somehow internally want to show approval for their beauty, but I feel guilty at the same time of how much I truly desire a little of both. Does this at least make any sense to anybody?
Dude. Are you Jewish?
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