I have been married for 14 years. 5
I have been married for 14 years. 5 years ago, my husband introduced me to a co-worker/friend of his. This person has become his best friend and over the past 5 years he has spent much time with my family, even living with us for the better part of a year. The problem is that I am extremely attracted to my husband's best friend. From the very beginning there was an intense attraction that I am pretty sure was mutal. I have been married for a long time and that time has not been without it's temptations and attractions--but this is different. I tried my best to ignore it thinking that if I just ignored my feelings they would eventually fade. Unfortunately, my husband and this man have become closer friends, resulting in him spending much more time with us at our home and other places as well. My attraction has only grown stronger. I believe that he is also attracted to me. Sometimes he flirts ridiculously openly, but at other times he is very reserved. I do not think that he would make a serious move on me because of his close friendship with my husband. The problem is that I really really want him to. On the one hand I feel very ashamed of my feelings and my fantasies. I find myself thinking about him, daydreaming about him, playing out sexual fantasies in my head. I feel like a school girl. Feeling ashamed though usually gives way to wishing that I could be alone with this man and show him how I really feel about him. Obviously, there is a huge conflict here. What do I do? Do I tell my husband and then have to deal with his being upset that I am fantasizing about his best friend and also him losing his absolute best friend in the world? Do I just keep trying to ignore it and hope that somehow this will all fade away? Do I tell his best friend what I am feeling and ask him to end the friendship with my husband without letting him know why? Do I tell his best friend and make a move on him? I am very confused and this just keeps getting worse and worse. I feel so guilty whenever his friend is around but cannot help my feelings for him. I have never felt an attraction this strong,ever--it is a chemical thing-- so strong and undeniable. We connect on a very deep and intimate level. Any ideas? I am desparate to get his resolved on way or another.