I confess that I have been severly depressed for quite some time. I have been trying to hide it, but its getting harder and harder. And I have gotten to the point where I have made a decision on what way IM going to go. I have allowed myself to be stressed when I knew that, that was the worst thing in the world for me. I did it anyway, because I guess i am a gluton for punishment. My heart is breaking. my mind is so so cloudy. I dont think I can keep up much longer. I am really losing my mind. I dont feel anger anymore, just confusion and sadness. and unfortunalty this is the most logical I have ben in a while. I hope that my life insurance pays out for what I plan to do. The time I have left is the time it takes to get everything in order. make sure money gets where its supoosed to go. Tell cats how I really felt. then Im gonna just let go.