i found out today that she isn't bi, so i have to live with thoughts of her, without letting her know i ever had them, or that i'm bi or that i'm still interested in her..
This must hurt you a lot. I am not gay and am an older guy, but love is love and the inability to express that love to your friend must hurt and probably makes you feel a little bit alone. You just need to convert that love you have for her in a relationship way, into loving her more as a friend which you can express to her without feeling nervous and will only strenthen your friendship. Good luck.
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