I don't know what to do.

I'm 20, and I'm a nice, caring guy, but I'm a loser and I'm boring. I'm not very good looking, and I'm short too. I'm not what any woman truly looks for in a partner, and I'm always just the best friend. I hate heteronormative relationship dynamics, and I refuse to conform. I know who I am, and that's just not me. I keep holding out hope for meeting the right person and just clicking, but I always am disappointed. Like most guys my age, I am also admittedly quite h****. I feel so frustrated, so inadequate, so undesireable, so sexless. I need to experience intmacy. I need it. I can't deny my base human needs. But I'll never find anyone, I'll never be enough for any woman, and I'll always be alone. I'm worthless to women. I'm not some pathetic bitter loser who resents women, because I don't blame them. I just wish I wasn't who I am. I deleted all the p*** on my computer. It would provide a short term release, but in the long run just frustrates and confuses me more.
I'm terrible at s**. Even though I've never had s**, I just know I'm terrible at it. No woman deserves bad s** with me. And I'll never get any better, because I'll never have any experience. I'll always be an incompetent virgin. All I'm good for is making people feel better about themselves. A usable, dispensable little toy. I've been used by my friends when they're feeling desperately h****, and I just happen to be around. Another friend of mine uses me as her dependable unconditional best-guy-friend who's just so sweet but not datable, and I get to hear all about the a******* she likes but doesn't think are into her. Another motivation in the deletion of p*** collection is the hope of maybe overcoming sexual desire. All it does it torture me. But I can't, it just won't go away. I need it to leave me alone. What's the point in it? Why should I even have a d***? It's all so useless. I'm afraid.


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  • Females feel that way too, don't worry.
    Personally, I don't care about what a guy looks like as long as he is nice.
    Try libraries, book conventions and the like for girls. I'm sure there is one out there who will like you for you.
    chin up. pip pip

  • I think that's your problem. Your politically aligning your self with the very gender that won't give you the time of day sexually speaking. Women are not attracted to male feminists.

    The difference between men and women is men can become attracted to women even after first visual contact IE if the fat girl is nice you start building feelings for them (Or finding them attractive). With women if you aren't attractive at first sight forget it you'll never be attractive to them so stop fawning over them. And stop your emotional investment in these emotional leeches that keep bringing their problems to you, you'll never be more then a crying post for them.

    And since you brought up the feminist angle, most feminist's these days don't hold back on their their sexuality. You should have noticed by now the feminists are often more sexually active then their more conservative peers. IE owning their sexuality is apart of their sexual liberation READ they aren't s**** they are liberated women, so why do you view your self as a manwhore for trying to meet your needs as well.

    Women have no qualms about having their needs met by mean either emotionally (In your case) or sexually and emotionally (by other men). Like the women posted above women want to be taken care of so its time for you to defeminise your self. Its cool that you respect women but its time for you to stop being one.

  • My man's a short overweight gamer schlub who is going bald. I fell in love with him when we were 20. He also had no self esteem. he does now. i fell in love with the core of his being, dont expect him to change, and im far too busy for hetero norms.

    So there ya go, proof that it CAN happen!!! When the right one comes along, sometimes things just click. You'll know it when you find it. Just dont give up hope that its out there.

  • dude...check out stylelife.com or doubleyourdating.com and get into the PUA community. It is all about making yourself a better person and there is a ton of information there that will come in very handy.

    Wish you the best of luck man...you need to boost that confidence and all the rest will follow.

  • Thanks, but no. I don't have any interest in being a misogynist pick-up artist. I'm a proud feminist. I'd rather be lonely feminist than a d********* manwhore tool with herpes.

  • Thank you. :) I'm not really going to give up. I guess I just needed to anonymously get my feeling off my chest. Thanks for the encouragement.


  • Well, no woman wants a man with low self esteem. We want to know a man can take care of us. Provide for us,protect us, and if anything happens you can take care of and know what to do! Its ok to be boring! I'm so f***** boring! I'm a nervous wreck all the time so doing fun stuff isn't my thing. If you suck at s** then you can improve! But you dk if you suck so don't think that way! You need a woman who likes to read and talk. Find a girl at a book store or like, a calming chilled out place. Don't go for clubbers. They tend to be spontanious. Its ok dude, there's tons of people like you. There really is and I'm one of them! I'm a girl as well. It takes time. Don't just give up :( if your a really open and comforting person your on the upperhand. A girl really needs someone to listen! Those jerks who are just all bod and n brains, there wives often f*** the cute quiet sensitive neighbor. I'd your the neighbor, you have the uppeRhand :)

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