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Depressed and really, really sorry
I still like you Suzanne. i like you even though you're gay and i know you used to like me before i turned into such an idiot.i know i still act like one but 'she' seriously messed up my head and i know i would have been a million times more happier if i'd never got involved with her...and stayed with you. i only ever once thought of you 'in that way' but for all this time i've been far more attracted to you then to your body. i might seem like a total buttheadd now but im just seriously confused. under all that i still have a soft spot for you and i am genuinely sorry i let you down and hurt you so much...it wasn't fair and i wish you knew how much i miss you and all the fun we had.
Well why don't you tell her all of this?? You might regret it later if you don't.... I wish you good luck, you sound very nice!