A Questionable New Year's and Beyond...

This story is long but good and totally true, I swear! Too true for me. Please read it and give me your thoughts...
I live about two hours away from my boyfriend and since he's gone for work for a week at a time every, other week and I go stay with him when he's home, our long distance relationship generally works.
Except for when things like what happen on New Year's happen..
My boyfriend doesn't care about celebrating holidays or family and I really do. So on New Year's I didn't go see him and instead invited him to all/any of the family events I had going on during that time. He decided he'd rather spend the holiday alone, so for my sister's New Year's party I got really dressed up, a dress that looks amazing on me, kitten heels, and dark, sexy eyeliner done just the way I know my boyfriend likes, and I invited my gay guy best friend over to keep me company.
Well, I decided the point in getting dressed up was to show my boyfriend what he missed out on, so after a few drinks I snuck in the guest room I usually used when I stayed with my sister and got on webcam with him. I was lonely from not seeing him in two weeks and h**** from the alcohol and he was h**** from seeing me so we ended up fooling around on webcam.
Well, my friend had come looking for me and walked in on my playing with myself for my boyfriend to see. I covered up quick and he left, apologizing for interrupting. The moment ruined for me when I realized I was playing with my lazy boyfriend instead of enjoying the party, I went back to the party, despite my boyfriend wanting me to stay and continue until he got off. We ended up getting in a fight over it and I went back to the party with my night completely ruined.
My friend felt bad for me and we did shots together until we were totally trashed. Too tired to stay up and sober up to leave I crashed in the guest room, leaving my friend to the party.
A while later I'm woken up by someone cuddling up to me...in a way that almost feels intimate. But I look and see it's my most definitely gay friend so I turn to go back to sleep. And then I feel his hand rubbing my thigh and then up to between my legs, and I can feel him hard behind me, pushing on to me and then even rubbing his d*** between my legs and into my shorts I was wearing. I sleepily asked what he's doing and he drunkly told me that he wants us to fool around. That although I'm not his usual cup of tea, I'm attractive and since we share all the dirty details of our s** lives with each other, he knows I'll be good in bed and he knows what I like. He told me it could just be a drunken one night thing we pretend never happened the next morning.
I told him no when he started actually kinda fingering me, telling him I didn't want to mess up our friendship. I'm a lot of things, but so far a cheat isn't one and when/if it is it will be a lot better than a fling with a gay friend who's drunk and feels sorry for me.
The next day I tried to talk to my friend about it and he did this weird laugh and told me I must've been dreaming, that he was gay so he wouldn't try anything with me. But I saw him put on his pants the next morning and his bowers were the exact same as the ones he wore in my "dream" so I knew he was just pretending it didn't happen like he said he would.
Since I spend a lot of time with my friend I started to feel guilty around my boyfriend for not telling him what happened so eventually I did after asking a girl friend if I should. She'd said no, that he'd be mad and not want me around the friend anymore, but she was wrong.
My boyfriend got really excited and made me tell him every detail of my friend touching me and then he started describing how it could've went down if I would've said yes and asking if I wanted it. I said I didn't with my friend cause I'm not attracted to him, but it didn't change the fantasy that was stuck in my boyfriend's mind. He told me I could have s** with my friend if I wanted as long as he could watch either in person or a video of it, and even made me pretend I was f****** my friend one night when we were fooling around. My boyfriend has now asked me to convince my friend to have a threesome with us, my friend f****** me while my boyfriend is, and my boyfriend has said that if my friend would do it, he'd even f*** my friend after. (My friend thinks my boyfriend is "f****** hot" from the ((clean!)) pics I've shown him and my boyfriend knows this.)
I thought when I told my boyfriend that I talked to my friend and told him what my boyfriend said about the threesome and my friend said no cause he realized our friendship is too important for us to play around like that, that my boyfriend would give up the idea, but he didn't.
On the night I told him my friend declined we both got drunk and one of his friends, his best friend actually, who I am also friends with, came over and playfully flirted with me like he always did in front of my boyfriend like he always had with no problems. Only my boyfriend suddenly got really serious and asked his friend if he'd like to f*** me. His friend said no, she's your girlfriend, we're just friends and joking, etc. well my boyfriend dragged me into his room and after he pinned me to his bed kneeling with him behind me and my hands tied behind my back with his necktie he started to play with me through and around my clothes. In front of his friend, although he didn't show him under my clothes any, thankfully. I could feel he was turned on cause he was pressed behind me and I watched as his friend got hard too. And all the while I'm telling him to stop and he's ignoring me to taunt his friend, bragging about how "responsive" and "obedient" I am but with some fire in me (I headbutted his chest when he said I was obedient. My boyfriend asked his friend if he wanted to play me and have a threesome and his friend, just staring blankly at me, said yes! He took off his jacket and started to come in the room but I cried out when my boyfriend's hand went in my pants and his friend stopped to ask if I wanted it too and I said no. I should explain that my boyfriend's best friend is my best friend's ex and he'd been her first and the break up was not mutual for her so I couldn't do that to her and it'd be awkward between all of us later. Well his friend left immediately and my boyfriend and I picked up right where he left off and the next day he told me that after seeing his best friend about to go for it and feeling that I was (apparently)turned on by it all he decided he doesn't want a threesome or me to ever play with anyone whether he can see it or approves of the person or not. I'm so confused on what he wants.. I was more/less ok with the threesome as long as it wasn't with our close friends cause it could get weird or go bad. Like how now there's this odd underlying tension between me and his best friend so now he doesn't talk to me anymore and is always too busy when I'm around to even hang out with both of us... Thoughts, anyone?

Apr 24, 2011

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  • Your boyfriend had a fantasy but seeing that maybe you liked it freaked him out. A lot of relationships are enhanced by including others, but your boyfriend is not ready for it. It all needs to be consensual, and not involve jealousy. There is nothing wrong with messing around with other people. But the boyfriend needs to be able to handle it, and it doesn't sound like he can. Too bad.

  • Wow, yeah, I guess I didn't know that kinda thing was so common...

  • He's insecure, conflicted, controlling and unstable. You are a bit of a mystery yourself. Were you really up for the threesome or were you just willing because you thought it was something your boyfriend wanted?

  • Actually, I'm not even sure about that one myself. Yes, I have gotten turned on by the idea of one, but I have some silly romantic ideas of what s** should be from my mother's bird's and the bee's lecture when I was young and I don't think I could betray those quite yet, if ever... I think me asking my friend was more me going along with what my boyfriend wanted more than anything, but I guess I did it because I was confident my friend would say no...

  • Yes, your boyfriend is a d***.

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