Is it bad that i /want/ her to die?

My mom has terminal cancer. Iv had a really bad history with my mom and iv actually found my self looking forward to when she passes. Am i a terrible person?

Apr 24, 2011

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  • thats horrible.

  • You're not a terrible person, I understand completely but the post above mine is right and I can say that with absolute conviction because I was in the EXACT same position as you are now two years ago. My mom and I had a bad relationship so when she was diagnosed I thought it wouldn't matter to me when she died, and all though I helped take care of her in her dying days, I didn't actually spend time being with her or cherish what I had at all. Sometimes when taking care of her cut into my life I'd think that I wanted it to hurry up and happen, that for being an overall bad person she probably deserved it. There's nothing I regret more, or ever will, than those last nine months of my mother's life that I could've spent with her, cherishing it and her, and didn't. Despite my relationship with my mom or maybe especially because of it, her death and how I felt about it before and the mistakes I made eat at me every day, two years later and it's still completely raw. I know I won't ever be able to forgive myself, and trust me that's not what you want. You might feel that way now, but it's only because you don't how truly terribly awful it'll feel when she's gone. I hope things turn out differently for you, I truly do.

  • You're not exactly a prince.

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