I am engaged to be married to a great

I am engaged to be married to a great guy that I am very much in love with. The prblem is that he has 4 kids, and I really hate them... all 4 of them. They are horrible! He has 2 teenager girls who are skanky and GOD, they're annoying. They act like 2 year olds. One is a band nerd and quite frankly I get sick to my stomachehearing about the stupid band!!!
Then there's his 16 yearold daughter who is like an ove grown baby. She has severe mental retardation and I can't stand being around her. She wears diapers and p***** on my furniture and I just want to choke thecrap out of her.
His 7 year old is the biggest damn titty baby on God's green earth and I get depressed when I think about her coming to our house.
They come over every 2 weeks for the weekend and I hate going home when they are there.
But I love my man and I don't want to lose him. I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else, but I can't stand spending it with them either.
Help!!!

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  • OK you are 24 and you have 4 kids and your man has 4 kids. That alone is scary. I am in my second marriage and only one child is still at home so I have some experience in blended family matters. PLEASE do yourself and all those you wrote about a HUGE favor. Do NOT get married. These problems are just the beginning. You are calling them names? If that does not reveal what is in your heart I don't know what does. PLEASE don't create another home of disfuntional kids because the step parent does not want the others kids. Two words MOVE ON

  • If you want to be with this man forever, I think you should be able to sacrifice another 3 years of h*** to be with him. It sounds like the 15 yo is the on ewith the serious issue. Can you blame her? Do you remember being 15? It i sprobably the worst time in a girls life, but she will be 18 in 3 years, then kick that girl out!

  • Put ur foot down and demand his kids respect u. If they still don't then leave him and his bad ass kids b/c this situation sounds like chaos...or seek family counseling

  • you are 24 and you have 4 kids, and he has 4 kids also? both of you use some f****** birth control for gods sake....

    If you hate his kids, you hate part of him.... I would never be with someone who hated my child.

    Get over it. Learn to love his kids, or he will end up hating you.

  • Youre right.

  • Yeah but as I said earlier he has to be the one who recognizes that and lay down the law. There's no way I'd allow my kids to dictate who I be with. That's just crazy. You don't abuse the kids or anything like that. He should be the one worrying about ending up alone not you. You can find somebody else because your situation isn't as extreme. The main thing here is you and your happyness. I'm not saying leave for good but put the pressure on him to step up and handle the situation. Right now he probably knows you love him to death and that you are not going anywhere but if he's faced with the possiblity of his kids actions causing him to loose his chance at happiness then he will either be the man that you know and love and step up. Or he will show you that he's not for you and that he's going to choose is kids over you. Just be prepared for the outcome not being what you want to hear. But it can't keep going on like this

  • Wouldn't leaving just be giving the kids what they want? I could see them throwing a huge party celebrating me leaving, just so that they could be lazy and never do chores again. The 15 year old told her mother that she doesn't like me because she liked it when it was just her and her dad, because he paid attention to her then. I don't want to do them any favors. I guess what Im asking for is advice on how to deal with the kids, especially the teenagers, and make them accept that Im not going anywhere. I mean, one day they are both going to have their own lives, and who their dad is with isn't really going to matter anymore. If every woman he ever dates runs like h*** when they see how his kids are, he would end up a lonely old man when they're out of the house.

  • Don't marry him. Leave and start a new life.

  • To the above commenter, if things don't get better soon, I will take your advice. I just don't want to hurt him, because I know that he tries to control his kids. His methods just don't work.

  • Love him or hate the kids the right answer is leave. You have to, even if it's only for a while. You have to leave to get your fiance's attention. He is the only one who can put a stop to this mess. He has to control his kids the way you control yours. If he is serious about you then he will not let his daughters stand in the way. So I'd say move out and tell him why and then let him make the decision to either fix the problem or move on. But you are right no one would take that kind of craziness whether they are in love or not.

  • When he and I started dating, I really, really tried to get along with the teen daughters. I took them shopping all the time. I spent tons of money helping the 15 year old (who lives with us) paint and decorate her room. I never got any respect in return. I try to treat all his kids just like I do mine, but the two teenagers just gave me h*** from day one. This weekend they were all there and I was in the kitchen cooking dinner for the army, (I have 4 kids aso) and the teenages were washing dishes, which I asked them to do. The one that lives with us took it upon herself to give me a shower with the sink sprayer. I could have killed her, but I didn't. I told my boyfriend what she did, he yelled at her and World War 3 started. She got in my face telling me that she would never do anything I tell her to do, and that she is not scared of me. My boyfriend told her that if she didn't like me telling her what to do then the best thing for her would be to live with her mother. I stepped in and said that I don''t want her to leave, that I just want her to show me a little respect. I would never let my kids treat him the way his treat me. The daughter that is retarded and his 7 year old love me to death. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved with someone who has a retarded daughter if I couldn't handle it. The problem is that I hadn't ever been around a retarded person until I moved in with him! I dont care if you say that I need to quit complaining- I just need to get this off of my chest- it is really tough dealing with a 16 year old that is bigger than me, about 200 pounds, that sits on the $2,000.00 couch and craps. Or fights with my 2 year old! She kicked my baby in the face because they were fighting over a toy, So do you think that if I leave so that he can find someone who will love his kids, that he will actually ever find that person? Is there actually someone out there that would think nothing of all this? Is there someone out there that would deal with a 15 year old bleaching all of their clothes??? Is there someone out there that would love a kid that stole her electronic truck key, making her miss work and pay $90 for another one? I mean, if there is then I should leave. But I really feel certain that there is not a woman out there that wouldn't be ready to explode. The 13 year old told her dad that I treat them like they have a disease. I don't treat them that way, but I do fuss at them because they hardly ever bath. They have terrible hygiene! The 13 year old comes on Friday and leaves Sunday night- in the same clothes! They don't bring toothbrushes even. We have battled headlice for the last 4 months because they keep giving my kids lice. I shaved my son's head becausethose monsters kept sharing their bugs with him. The poor thing can't even have hair becauseof these kids! And I just can't leave. I just act like nothing is wrong most of the time at home, and I keep on planning our wedding because I realy love him. And I know that to hate someone is a sin. I don't hate them. I was just upset when I wrote that because of my fight with the daughter from h*** the night before. I am only 24 years old and the little s*** hates me for it. Maybe I will get older and calmer before his youngest gets to be a teen!

  • Rape them.

  • If you can not find it in your heart to love his children leave him be. Leave him so that he can find a woman that is willing to accept and love his children as much as she loves him. You will regret marrying him and his children will too. If you feel this way about his children they prob. feel the same way about you. The most important thing to remember is that Jesus said that to hate is to murder which is a sin.

  • jesus christ woman. you have to deal with them for 2 weekends a month.. BIG DEAL. if you love the man, stop complaining. you shouldn't have gotten involved enough knowing about his children if you couldn't handle it. sounds like your the one being the baby.

  • i feeeel you

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