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I hate myself because of her.
I hate myself because I tell everybody and lie to myself that i'm better off and that i'm over her but in reality i'm not. I haven't talked to her in 4 months and i miss her so much. I want to call her or just hear her voice but i know i can't. I want to know if she feels the same way but there is no way. She took everything i had. My friends, my job, my life. I had to start my life over because of her but i'm still secretly in love with her. That's why i hate myself.
Sadly good relationships go wrong.
No one is to blame.
I was where you are 16 years ago when my wife divorced me. What worked for me was to find a new social circle and ultimately a new wife. Let her go and don't look back, she isn't waiting for you.