She's Losing It

My daughter is 21 years old.

She's what you call a hopeless romantic. Ever since high school, she would pursue guys and get her heart broken. She had never been in a relationship to date. She would see her peers go on dates and have countless boyfriends and I suppose it made her feel like she needs to have her share and when this need was not fulfilled she became angry and frustrated.

She used to be such a nice person. Now, she's this bitter, resentful and hateful young woman who seems to be angry even with the slightest mentions of other's being in a relationship.

She's by no means a s***, she's smart and did her education in 2 elite universities and a 3.8 gpa student. She's the best in her class but I am kind of sad to see that she's lonely and she want's a boyfriend, she always did. It has come to a point that she's desperate.

Whenever the word boyfriend is mentioned she goes to a really foul mood and hurt others verbally. My niece(her cousin) just got married. And people were congratulating her cousin she said the most...disheartening thing 'Well, congratulations! Let's see if you guys will divorce after 2 years!'.

Everyone was shocked beyond words. I never bring her to weddings anymore. I once saw her tearing off a wedding dress magazine with screaming expletives.

I think she is really lonely without someone. I once read her diary. I still remember a sentence that moved me to tears:

I watch everyone around me holding hands and receiving gifts on Valentine's Day. What is wrong with me? Why can't I be that girl? Why dont I have a boyfriend? Why dont guys like me? In what way am I inadequate?

Mind you, my daughter is a very adorable looking girl. People often tell her she looks like a doll. I dont understand how boys havent asked her out either. =(

She's very lonely, to a point that she's turning neaurotic.

I dont know how to help her.

Her mind is full of being in a relationship and competing this aspect with her friends. I dont know how else to help her. I hate that she feels like this when she's such a nice person. I dont like this bitter person she is now. Where is my daughter?

Jun 27, 2011

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  • She's creating an unrealistic equation in her head: having a boyfriend = her life would be perfect. You can tell her how beautiful she is, but your her mom. It's not the same as some guy telling her. She really needs to make the effort to put herself out there. But first she has to change her attitude, learn to love herself and believe that she's worth it. Maybe even speaking to a therapist can help. It is true, relationships happen when you least expect it. Encourage her to accept every invitation she receives, ask her friends to set her up, join groups with like-minded singles, sign up for dating sites.. She has to be proactive about her search and not to get discouraged. But she needs to get out there. And that's not something you can do for her.

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