I am a handsome straight acting and looking married guy who has a reputation about town for being the guy who likes to chase women, which I do. However, when I get a little drunk and perhaps take some drugs all I can think about and the thing that makes me lose my breath is being with a guy. I've had many sexual experiences over the years with guys although I've always kind of denied that I'm into it straightway afterwards. I love the fact that I get back to bed, strip off, perhaps put on some sexy lingerie and w*** like the poof that I really am, losing myself at the knowledge that I am so f****** gay and nobody knows. It's such a release to be able to freely indulge in the s** that really turns me on. Thing is when I've come I suddenly feel really ashamed and go straight back into denial about it all until next time.