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Lonely ** **?
I cannot get turned on if I'm having ** with a person and I simply go through the motions or fake it. I've never reached ** with a partner. However, I get incredibly turned on if I'm alone by myself and can give myself multiple **. I fantasize that I'm doing it with someone and I can get off. But when I'm with another person I can't do it.
I think it has to do with the fact that I am aroused by young teenaged boys in school uniforms and glasses (and I'm a woman in my 20s). But none of my partners every fit the bill plus it would be illegal to do it with a minor. And anyway even if I were to have ** with the embodiment of my fantasies, I probably would just lose my ** drive.
I'm afraid of losing control, I've been abused by some people whom I trusted. Maybe that's why I want to be in control so much and to be with a much younger boy, so I can control and dominate him.
Explore the S & M scene. You may well find some willing male submissives.