Shy... And Jaded
I'm a 23 year old gay male and the only real goal I've ever really had in my adult life was to find love and spend the rest of my life with the one I love. What do have to show for it? A long distance relationship where I never even met the guy in person, a crippling shyness and pessemism that prevents me from talking to any guys I'm interested in (they would more likely be gay-bashers anyway), and jaded feeling that grows just as fast as my lonliness. It's getting to the point where I no longer really have the desire to search, because the only results that I have seen and will likely see from the effort is rejection.
To quote Gendou Ikari from "End of Evangelion": "I don't think anyone could ever love me. I don't deserve to be loved."