My friends, family and boyfriend all think that I am coming up on two years sober. Truthfully, I am hung over as f*** right now. I hate drinking but I hate facing my miserable life sober. I don't want to feel the pain but don't have the courage to off myself. If I could have scored vicodin or xanax last night, I wouldn't have had to settle for wine. I really hate living a lie. Maybe that's why sobriety has never stuck for me. I am incapable of being truly honest.