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Not Sober
My friends, family and boyfriend all think that I am coming up on two years sober. Truthfully, I am hung over as ** right now. I hate drinking but I hate facing my miserable life sober. I don't want to feel the pain but don't have the courage to off myself. If I could have scored vicodin or xanax last night, I wouldn't have had to settle for wine. I really hate living a lie. Maybe that's why sobriety has never stuck for me. I am incapable of being truly honest.
You are capable and this post is a good first start. You know what you need to do to get sober and live the life you truly deserve. It won't be easy, but it is worth it. And sounds like you have a lot of people who love and support you.