I just shook my 6y/o daughter

I've never had a warm relationship with my oldest daughter. I've tried really hard but it eludes us. Everything upsets her. Daily things like eating or washing her hair or brushing her teeth are massive dramas, sometimes she cries so much she vomits. I try to be extremely patient and appear calm and unruffled. But tonight I lost it... I grabbed her shoulders and shook her and yelled at her. I'm horrified by what I've just done. In the morning I'm going to see a doctor and get this sorted. I shouldn't have gotten so worn out that I shook her. She shouldn't be so hard to cope with.

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  • Even the most patient of parents are tested now and then. And not all parents bond with their own kids. Good for you for going to see a therpist, it will help you a lot and also possibly find tips/tricks to encourage good behavior for your daughter to want to do things instead of it being a constant struggle. Please also have your child tested too..maybe there is a condition (autism, mental illness, social anxiety ..even if a child is 6..) that she's dealing with that hasn't been diagnosed so she may not have control over her actions and outbursts.

  • I doubt anyone here would read your confession and think you're a bad mother. You seem to love your little girl enough to feel bad about losing your cool and you're already making plans on resolving things. You need to maybe have a one on one chat with her, tell her that you are sorry for doing what you did and tell her why you did it (but in a nice way- she's only 6 afterall). Ask her if it's possible for you both to work together on this so you can both be happy and also mention that you love her very much, that you want her to always tell you if she's feeling bad or anything. (cos often children act out when they're having a hard time communicating what they're feeling. whenever a kid acts out..ask them gently and with care why they are acting that way and how you can work together to be happier.

  • Good for you going to see a therapist

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