LOCKED IN A LOVE BOX
Forget a triangle. I'm in a big square and honestly just don't know what to do.
1) HUSBAND/parental partner #1
He's bi-polar and I have no feelings for him except friendly. He's delusional and thinks that we may get back together. Doesn't know that I reside with BOYFRIEND, but knows about child. We've been separated almost 3 years(finally got out of domestic violence situation) and live 400 miles apart. I try to keep on his good side because he's threatened suicide and I don't want that on my conscious although I secretly wish he would do it so that I wouldn't have to deal with him.
2) BOYFRIEND/parental partner #2
He suffered from a massive head injury before I met him. Met him while I resided with husband. I think he may also have a disorder. Acts childish and believes that may be the cause of his current incarceration in a city 100 miles away. He's been locked up since March and because of the nature of the crime my feelings have diminished. I want to tell him, but because of his temper I feel as though he could be a danger to me when he's released. He's never been violent towards me, but he's threatened suicide amongst other things.
3)OLD HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART
I would love to pursue a relationship with my high school sweetheart, but he doesn't know about the current boyfriend. He speaks his mind and is all about "the man" and conspiracy theories, which I don't like. I don't know if we are meant to have a relationship or if we just have a build up of sexual tension that needs to be released since we were an item in high school, but I remained a virgin. He lives about 3 hours away and he's a truck driver, so I'm concerned about the long distance relationship aspect.He doesn't have any kids and he's stated that he would love to have one with me. I have four children and honestly don't know if I want another. Plus I have health issues which may result in getting a hysterectomy. I don't want to deny him of having a child with me if we ever pursue a relationship. He's spontaneous and wants to come visit for a few days, but he wants to stay at my home. Keep in mind I have children from #1 and #2 that he's never met, plus this house is shared by my current boyfriend who's currently locked up. I try to talk him into staying at a hotel or try to establish a relationship with my kids first before wanting to invite yourself in, but he gets upset and says things like he doesn't have time to wait around or he's going to move on.
4) NSA FWB partner
Currently there isn't a no strings attached friends with benefits, but I believe that may change soon. I'm trying so hard to focus on the current three, but when you go from having s** every night to none at all it messes you up. Since #2 or #3 are not available, I've thought about having s** with someone else just to satisfy a need. I don't want to be unfaithful to them. I just want s**, not the emotional attachment.
I just want everyone happy, including me and I don't know how to do it successfully without getting anyone upset.