I have a girlfriend but things aren't

I have a girlfriend but things aren't great at all.We live together and I feel that all the love we ever had is gone ! It's a though we've been married for 50 years and all the spark has gone.We also have no s** life.I don't even raise the issue with her anymore because she makes me feel like im some sort of sexual beast that should be struch down.Surely im just normal ???? Isn't making love important in a relationship or am i really as bad as she makes me feel!? I feel more and more ugly by the day.Is it a problem she has with me that i don't know about? I wish i could get out of the relationship but she would have nowhere to go and we're to commited financially to split up.I'm beginning to accept the fact that i will never find love and this makes me so much more depressed.I have no other place to go but down...................

Jul 8, 2010

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  • I agree with first person. There are ways of talking to her about it that will help the situation, but do not blame anything on her. Talk about "us" rather than "you" and "me"

  • Feelings are fluid.

    People need to use their heads more.

  • If you want to stay.


    If you want to go.


    No matter what ties you down....

    Go after what you want.

    And never deny what you feel.

  • I'm just curious how long you have been together. Her lack of s** drive might be physical and not entirely emotional - maybe you should have a talk to her and see if this might be the problem. Depression and so many female ailments can have an effect on s** drive, so there is a good chance that it is not to do with her finding you unattractive or anything like that.

    Frankly being financially bound together is just another reason why you should work at the relationship. I think that people are able to leave relationships too easily, without truly putting in any effort. If you're stuck together for now, you need to find a new interest together, or something that you can bond over. Get out of the rut and romance her...something has to change for you both to be happy.

  • You need to tell her an active s** life is important to the well-being of your relationship. Be very open with her about how you feel. Tell her how her rebuffs are affecting you. Maybe she doesn't realize just how much your dwindling s** life is messing with you psychologically. If you share your feelings and concerns and she still doesn't open up to you too and try to get your s** life back on track, but there is still love between you, you need to get your needs met elsewhere.

    By the way, I'm a girl. I just think that while it's important to work on your relationship, you can't do the work alone. If your partner is uncooperative, unresponsive to your needs, and generally affecting your self-esteem in a destructive way, you need to get your emotional/sexual needs met, any way that you can.

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