I Regret Motherhood

I love my kids. I love them more than anything. But I hate being a parent.

I don't even know if I ever wanted kids. I never really thought about the fact that I had a choice. I just thought life was growing up, getting married and having kids. I just thought that's what people did. So I did it, and I regret it.

I'm not a horrible mother. I take care of both of my kids to the best of my abilities. I feed them, I bathe them, I take the older one to school, I read them stories and take them to the park. I do parent things with them and for them because I love them and I want them to be happy and healthy, but I'm just miserable.

I miss my old life. I miss being able to visit my sister without having to figure out what to do with two little people. I miss hiking. I miss long drives with just me and a camera and being able to pull off to the side of the road to take pictures of whatever, whenever. I miss all the extra money I used to have. I miss being able to just pack up and move half way across the country on a whim. I miss being able to go out with friends any night of the week without having to plan weeks in advance. I miss actually having friends.

I know. I'm a monster. What kind of mother doesn't love parenting? Parenting isn't easy, but for some reason there are millions of mothers who love doing what they do. And I'm the monster who f****** hates it.

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  • You are not a monster. Those thoughts enter the mind of many parents. Please never voice this to your children though. My mother did many times and it was really damaging to my sister and me.

    Take time for yourself!

  • You are not a monster a mother who gives up her time and life to raise her kids especially when it makes you miserable and you do it any way. There are real monster parents out there that beat and abuse their kids. My bet is when your kids get older you will be able to share all of the things you loved to do with them. It will be easier to enjoy a bond with them when they don't need you as much. I'm sorry you feel the way you do but please don't think of yourself as a monster. I have days when I can't stand my son and step son. But we love our kids and we know it. You'll be fine I hope you can feel better about yourself. I promise when they get older you'll have a blast. My girlfriends daughter is 22 now and we hang out all the time. It was rough when she was a teen she didn't want to do anything but they grow up and soon you will miss having all the time with them. *hugs* please don't think of yourself so low it's not fair to you. Hang in there

  • Some of your wants sounds great in theory, but the grass isn't always greener on the other side. I may not have kids, but I can't always pick up and leave whenever I want. I have a dog that eventually will need to be let out and fed. Everyone is busy these days and even single people have challenges trying to make time to meet up. And it's hard to make friends these days, I get that. But you are not a monster, you're human. I do see the same struggle with some of my friends who are parents. They never say they hate parenting, but they do vent that they are challenged from time to time. Think it's more about finding balance. And finding balance is so tough - parent or non parents - it's not easy. You're kids aren't always going to be little. Eventually, they will get older and may enjoy going on a hike with you. You mention your old life.. when you were a bit more carefree and times were simpler because you were younger and had less responsibilities. But your old life had its share of problems, just different ones. But that was then, so how can you enrich your life now..with kids? Planning, arranging and scheduling is just a fact of life for you now. Accept it. But that doesn't mean you can't go hiking, or taking a drive and taking photographs. Join a meetup group (or start one). Find some other moms who like hiking too. It depends on what is important to you and then you can make anything work, but it takes effort..

  • I understand. Life was free and easy and easy just to go at moments notice. Now kids take time. Lots of time. Deep breatb. Pray or meditate. Good luck

  • You sound like a c***, when your p**** flaps open does it whistle.

  • Does your hubby know that?

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