Lost

I met my girlfriend 8 years ago after being broken hearted more times than I could count and living alone in an alcoholic stupor. She is 13 years older than I am and I have never found her physically atractive. I do love her I feel like she is my best friend and we have always gotten along great. The catch is she has a daughter who is 11 years younger than me. I met her when she was in high school and have always thought she was attractive. For years that was as far as it ever went I've always been here for her and we have always at least been friends. The last 2 years or so I started noticing feelings things that I wasn't sure what they meant. She isn't classically pretty but to me she is the most beautiful girl in the world. We get along great and the way she makes me feel has developed into the most intense love I have ever felt for any one ever. I adore this girl and do not get me wrong altho I think s** with her would be amazing that is not the focus of or for my affection. She will never think of me in the same way and I can't do it say anything to express this love. It is the most hopeless and lost and depressing and suicidal experience I have ever been through. I cherish every second spent with her and I am only happy when she is here. She lives out of town and works in the mountains my heart is aching that I cannot even text her with any sort of regularity and I worry about her surrounded by foreign strangers and grizzly bears with no way to contact us. Even still she tells me good morning and says hi on lunch break and says goodnight I love you even though the messages won't send for sometimes a whole day. Anyway I know I could die a happy man if I could just hold her hand. I love you sweetheart even I'm you will never know how much I die every time you drive away. Please be happy and safe and know I will always be here for you. I love you so very much..

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  • Well you talk as if you don't think I know all this. There is a reason I posted on here. I don't think I have half a chance in fact I'm pretty sure I wrote that I know I don't. I also don't sit around just planning when I'll get to have s** with her... I may have admitted that the idea would be amazing but I care about this girl more than any one I've ever met I would do anything to keep her from harm and would protect her from any one or anything with my life. That is the reason I know I will never tell her the feelings I have for her. I would never jeopardise the relationship I do have with her. Knowing how f***** up these feelings are is the reason I vented on here. I'm not justifying myself I know it's not right. I've never been more upset and depressed in my life. Any way you have your opinions I understand that. I don't blame you.

  • There is the male brain at work. Want to f*** anything around and can't stop thinking about her and thinking you have half a chance

  • If you marry and have kids you would have f***** the grandma, just think about that for a minute

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