I am attracted to the thought of impregnating young girls
Since I was thirteen - I'm only a few years older now - I wanted to be a father. A great one. Because mine f****** sucked. He was a whoremongering a****** and I hope that all his eight kids leave him just as estranged as he left us. Anyway... not the point.
As soon as I became interested in girls, the first thing that interested me greatly was the reproductive system proper. S*** - with all the reading and studying I did of the girl's system, I could be an OB/GYN or something.
I don't want to rape anyone. God, no. I detest rape with a passion. I have this fantasy where a girl - a girl of fourteen - essentially asks me to impregnate her. I have an job, so I care for her. I have a car, so I take care of the child and mother's needs to go places - hospital, grocery store, whatever. I dream big. I want to be everything my dad couldn't be. I wanna be that right now.
A lot of the time, especially after c****** to one of these fantasies, I find myself depressed and suicidal. I know this is a horrible way to be - no teen girl deserves to have her v***** stretched to nearly five times its normal diameter just for some older kid's crazy fetish with human life. I also know that someday, I'll either be a murderer or philanthropist - there's no way there will be any inbetween. I know what it's like to be afraid of my own mind.
I feel better now.