A hole in me
I euthanised my cat today.
I was doing revision for school and he started having a fit at my feet, at first I thought he was dreaming because he was twitching like dogs do when they dream but when I tried to wake him he wouldn't stop.
My dad and I rushed him to the vet and they said he had a tumor in his liver that had been steadily growing and today was the turning point. I had in total 3 panic attacks but I still went up to where he was laying on the table and said that he had been an incredible person and family member.
I told him that I'll miss him curling up beside me in bed whenever I left the door open and I would miss his cuddles.
Then I made the decision and I took the two needles that held an overdose of an anaesthetic and I put the tips into the IV drip and stayed with him as he died.
I didn't want him to be alone and my dad didn't want to do it so I did it for the family and for Max the cat himself.
Today was the only time I saw my dad openly cry except when we were at his brother's funeral.
I didn't want anyone to do it and my sister will be decimated when she finds out. Max was really her cat and she is currently away and I'm not aloud to tell her until she comes back.
Today I euthanised my cat